Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Skyward Sword Chapter 10: That Dragon is Wearing a Kimono

Hey, what can I say? It's not every day you see a dragon wearing a kimono. Let's get this show on the road so those of you who aren't playing the game can figure out what I'm talking about.

So, our objective was to find the lake where the Water Dragon resides, according to the grumpy Kikwi I woke up. He said I'd have to do something to the seal on the gate before I could go through it, which was correct - it had an unfinished forest seal (I forget what it's called?) on the gate and I had to use my sword to draw a circle on the gate to complete the seal so it would open. So I did. The "circle" I drew was really bad, so I didn't take a picture of it. Here I am right after I got through the gate leading to the lake.














Totally thinking "RAISE THE ROOF!" to myself there. Okay, anyway.

The little hallway there led down to a little patio of sorts, where I guess you're just supposed to dive off the edge and hope you actually know how to dive. Or you could just do a really big cannonball, I guess.















That sure is a long way down...














Well, time to throw all caution to the wind. LET'S DO THIS!















AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

I think that little white smear at the bottom of the picture is me, but anyway...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!















I...I made it. I didn't even break any limbs or anything! Wow. Of course, now I have to get to wherever it is I'm going without drowning. I think I'll swim through this handy-dandy tunnel up ahead.















Well, let's get to swimming then, shall we? But first...















Vampire Link wants to drink your blood! Or something.

So I started swimming through the tunnel, and eventually encountered some kind of squid-fish-thing.














Another human? What, has Zelda been here too? NO WAY!














Hmm...I'm thinking calamari here. Delicious, delicious calamari. So delicious...

Oh, wait. The Kikwi guy said the Water Dragon is big on politeness. Somehow I don't think eating one of her, uh, cohorts is going to make me look good. Okay, I'll just follow this guy. Here's a blurry picture of him yelling at me for following him.















Yeah, well, I need to talk to her anyway, so try not to get your tentacles in a twist.

So then he swam through the gate-thing behind him in the above picture in a weak attempt to thwart me.














Too bad for him I can do spin attacks underwater now thanks to the Water Dragon scale I have.















So then he said something about how the Water Dragon needed help with something (of course she does) and asked if I'd talk to her. How coincidental! I need to talk to her anyway. Let's go!















That is a gate. I don't know who put a gate in this area, but there it is. To get past it, I had to do a spin attack from underwater to jump over the gate. That is some Shamu-style bullshit right there. I'm sure it looked completely moronic to anybody who might have been watching. "Heh heh. Look at that guy. He thinks he's a dolphin or something." Well, whatever.














Here I am on land. In the lake. Or around it, or something. This place is confusing. And the music is different depending on whether you're on land or underwater!

But whatever. Eventually we encountered a really big, mean fish that looked really scary. But I didn't take a picture of it. Oh well. It was easily defeated (with a spin attack).

And then we got to a locked door, which led to the Water Dragon's inner sanctum, or something. And the calamari fish guy was the key, apparently!















Oooh, pretty.














Look, more calamari-fish guys!















So I made my way up onto the big platform, where I found...the Water Dragon? In some kind of cookpot? Okay, this is weird.














That's the Water Dragon? It's...a lot smaller than I was expecting...














Well, excuuuuuuuuuuse me, Princess Water Dragon, but nobody bothered to tell me your name. Thanks for being understanding, though!














Looking through my items, are we? Who's the rude one now?














So many tests! Why can't they just take my word for it for once in my life! Gahhhhh.

So she went on to say that she was attacked by someone (probably Ghirahim) and got her face pounded in, or something.














Oh, it's a basin. I thought he put you in the cookpot himself and was saving you for later! Silly me. Oh, what's that? You want me to get some more sacred water? From a sacred spring in Faron Woods that just happens to be at the end of the first dungeon? Well, okay. I'm sure it's still empty from the last time I was there. Shouldn't be too hard.














And what are you going to do to me if I come back late? Flip your bowl over and spill your dirty water all over me? Oooh, I'm so scared.

Wait. That would be kind of gross. Okay, okay, I'm on my way.

So then I took a back door shortcut that leads back to the woods, apparently, and found a pretty waterfall. Ooooh.














But I didn't come here to gaze at a pretty waterfall. Let's get back to Skyview Temple or whatever it's called and get this done.














Of course not. That would be too easy! Well, let's go, then.

Wait, what? There's a Mogma here? Well, color me surprised.














Key? Monster? Oh, come on, this place is supposed to still be empty from last time. They wouldn't actually send me back here if there were more monsters to kill, would they? Because that would be a really lame way to make this game take more time...

Oh. Right. More time. I guess they would actually make us do that. Lame.














Okay, I'll find your key. And then I'll use it myself, because I'm probably going to need it.














I'm pretty sure I'm the one that beat you to all the goods, but whatever. You just go look for your precious treasure somewhere else, man.

And then I got to fight three Stalfos at once!














That was fun.

So I managed to get to the spring, where there were like five fountains of water pouring down, and I had to dowse for the *~Special~* water to figure out which one was the one I wanted. There were also some fairies hanging around the special water, which should have been my clue, I guess. I tried to catch a fairy in my bottle, but unfortunately for me it filled my bottle with special water and then ported me back to the Water Dragon, or somewhere nearby, I don't remember. Ugh. Well, I'm not going all the way back there again just to get a couple of fairies.

So I poured the water in the Water Dragon's cookpot basin...














...and then she got all giant and floaty. Apparently severe wounds make a dragon get smaller? I don't know, I'm just the Hero.














Impressive.














The dragon is wearing a kimono. Since when do dragons wear kimono? I don't think I've ever seen that before. Well, I guess this is a Japanese game, after all.














Yay! I guess.














Yes! Do I get the flame now? Please say I get the flame now.














Flame? Please?














I don't think she's going to give me the flame, guys.














Oh, I see. She's making the waterfall disappear. Look, the flame had better be behind that door, missy.














Of course they have. This isn't going to be easy, is it? Well, I guess they did say I'd have to do something and then something else to get the flame. It just seems unnecessarily drawn out. But whatever. Let's head inside.














Ancient Cistern? They couldn't come up with a better name than that? Really? Come on now. That doesn't look like a cistern at all. It's pretty!















See? That doesn't look like a cistern at all. Well...that part of it doesn't. Oooh, foreshadowing!














And that brings me to my stopping point for today. I guess this post was relatively short. Probably because I'm too lazy to take more pictures of stuff. Well, better luck next time, I guess. Until next time, heroes!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Skyward Sword Chapter 9: In Which We Learn That Fi is Also a Ballet Dancer

Hello and welcome to the latest installment of the Skyward Sword not-replay. I swear I'll cover a game I've already played after I finish this one in a year . So, let's keep moving.

After Groose was done crying about how useless he was, I went to find a bird statue and happened to run into that Goron guy whose name I've forgotten. He promptly started babbling something about how he'd figured out that butterflies hovering over a given spot on the ground meant there was a Gossip Stone just waiting to be unearthed (by "beautiful music"). If you could manage to play some music that was beautiful enough, the stone would pop out of the ground (with a not-suggestive-at-all "BOING-OING!"). The only thing he hadn't figured out was how to make said beautiful music. Good thing I've got a harp right here!















Yay, it's a statue that talks and gives mildly helpful clues. Let's move on.

Since I'd been told to find someone on Skyloft who would know the lyrics to the Ballad of the Goddess, I could only think of one person who could do the job. You know, because he's the guy in charge, and his daughter sang the song at the Wind Ceremony and everything. So I went to talk to Gaepora.















Look, he does know the lyrics! But does that help us?















I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN SORRY FOR THE BLURRY PICTURE BUT I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!!!! LET'S GO FIND IT!!!















See, there are these two windmills on Skyloft, and I'd already noticed the pinwheel on one of them and moved it into position, but the other one was busted. Lame.














See? The pinwheel was gone. If my memory had been a little better when I played this part, I'd have known where to go to get it. According to what's-his-name, the pinwheel was gone for good, but that can't be right. It has to be down below somewhere.















No, I was just going to give up because the pinwheel is gone. You know, because we're all stuck on this island with no way to get to the surface. Moron.














Flying robot, you say? Are you talking about the junked-up robot at the Scrap Shop that can't talk or do anything anymore? I'm sure I'll have to do something complicated to make it functional again, right? Okay, let's go.














You can't even be bothered to remember its name? For shame. That even rhymes!














And according to the scrap shop guy, ol' Scrapper there needs oil from an Ancient Flower to regain his functionality. Too bad I don't have any Ancient Flowers. Oh, wait...here's one right here in my pack. Actually, looks like I have about 8 of them. Huh.














Giggity. Okay, let's get this over with.














Giggity Wow, that's all it took to restore him to working order? How convenient.















You'd better believe it, guy. You see, when The Hero (tm) is on the scene, anything's possible.














What a rude robot. I feel like I've said this before. Well, whatever.














GET IT TOGETHER, YOU DUMB ROBOT. WE HAVE A WORLD TO SAVE HERE!














Yay, Fi said something useful. Now, if I could just get the robot to cooperate...














He likes Fi? You know, I'd be surprised by this, but, you know, the robot is a cold, emotionless robot with no personality. Kind of like Fi. Exactly like Fi, actually. So whatever. Let's go get our missing propeller.

But first, I had to take a picture of this. Before I left, I decided to see if there were any side quests I had to do. And when I went to the academy, someone told me there was a rumor that a woman had been heard crying in the bathroom at night. The word "ghostly" was mentioned, I think. I figurd I'd better check it out...and this is what I found.














Yes, that is a ghostly hand sticking out of the toilet. I'd be more surprised, except they did the same thing in Majora's Mask. Yay for creepiness. Well, the hand asked for paper, but I didn't have any, so I went on my way. Wait, no I didn't. Cawlin gave me a letter he'd written to his sweetheart, and me being the lovable scamp I am, I gave the letter to the disembodied hand before I left. More on this later.

Anyway, someone (probably Fi) had said that the propeller fell somewhere on the Eldin Volcano area, so I headed down there, where Scrapper met us.















Hi, Scrapper!














Ugh. Let's go.

So, it turns out I knew where the propeller was, I'd just forgotten. It was at the bottom of one of the slides near the entrance to the Earth Temple, or Fire Temple, or volcano temple, I've already forgotten what it's called. So we retrieved the propeller and promptly headed back up to Skyloft.















Good thing I've got a way to spin the propeller right here (giggity).

So, once I had both propellers facing the right way, it made some kind of mirror-pedestal thing rise out of the Light Tower. Cool!














Well, let's go over there and see what we have to do now.

Oh, look at all those holes in the ground. I bet I have to play my harp.














Cool. Well, let's get this done...














Oh. Fi sings. Well, okay then...














What's my magical harp devilry going to accomplish this time?!














It's a beam of light...














...going into that giant cloud thing that I'd been wondering about all game. Well, then. Let's go investigate!















NO DUH. Let's go.

So we flew into the cloud thingy and were immediately attacked by a bunch of weird flying lizard things that I couldn't get a picture of. It may have been all rainy and stormy, too. But eventually we made our way to an island.















Really? Do tell.














Just like everything else in this game. Sigh.

So, after solving a puzzle (with some help from an observer) involving some sliding blocks, or whatever those things were, I made my way into the island.














Pensive Michael Jackson lookalike is pensive. Anyway...















Look at the statue in the background. That wasn't there when I entered the room. It came up from the floor, singing, moving its mouth in a really creepy way. I felt like I was watching Black Swan all over again! Creeeeeepy.














Yay, Fi's doing some artsy poses while she delivers the message. Yay.














More fetch quests? Ugh.














I should have gotten video of this, but yeah. She's doing fouett├ęs. So she's a ballerina too? What, is she going to whip out some killer gymnastic moves next time?














So the green light taught me a new song...














...which I'm pretty sure I didn't even have to "strum" for. It just showed the cinematic.














Yay, birds!














Yay, I got another song! I didn't even have to do anything!














So I have to do this to get that to get this? That's what you're saying? Why can't they just give me things straight out? Well, I suppose the game would be really short if they did that.

So, I made my way back to Faron Woods, where I found Groose, who'd finally stopped crying.














Okay, cool. Could you finally fix your ridiculous hair? I think that's the best way you can help Zelda.

After I was done listening to Groose gush about himself some more, I headed back into Faron Woods and ended up almost back to the entrance to the Deep Woods before I found the place where I was supposed to do the first trial (right in front of the big tree from earlier). In order to start the trial, I had to play my harp again. Yay!














And Fi is singing again. Is this really necessary?














I had to strum the harp in time with the pulsing light to make each flower petal appear. That was fun. But eventually I got it. Yay, pretty flower!














OH MY GOD FI JUST SHUT UP ALREADY.

And then I fell on the ground unconscious and everything went all dark and twilighty. Apparently I was now in the first trial.














And I guess Fi can't come with me. Thank God, some respite from the blandness!














My task: fill the flower vessel thingy with "tears" without getting hit once by any of the various guardians lurking around.














Cool. Well, let's find us some tears.














Did I mention that finding tears makes the guardians in this place not move around, but only for like 90 seconds or something like that, after which they come alive and start chasing me again and the music gets all ominous and scary? Yeah. I mean, I liked the whole tear-gathering thing in Twilight Princess, but when you add a time limit to it, that's when I start to get frustrated.

I guess I didn't get any pictures of what happens when time runs out and the guardians chase you. There's also magical pools of water scattered around that make all your time run out instantly if you step in it. Also, there are little ghouls with lanterns that do the same thing if you get too close to them. So, yeah. Well, whatever. I failed twice, but eventually managed to complete the trial.














And when I got out of the trial...














Yay, I can finally swim!














But I can't actually GET the flame yet. She's careful to mention that. And I still have a ton of stuff I'm going to have to do before I get that damn flame. Okay, whatever. What do I have to do now?














Well, I'm pretty sure I've explored most of the places in this godforsaken forest. What's left? I can only really think of the big tree I've been running around for most of the time I've been here. What's this? There's even a handy-dandy tunnel leading into it from the water I just learned how to swim in? Well, what am I waiting for?















That's what it looks like inside the tree. Yay, more pufferfish.














Well, let's get this done with. I can already tell it's going to be fun.














Oh, yeah. Totally fun.

But I didn't take many pictures from inside the tree. Well, suffice it to say it was annoying.

Here I am on the outside of the tree, a little farther up. I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to be doing, exactly, other than explore the tree. But something was making a weird noise, so I figured I was supposed to check it out.















Finally I made it to the top of the tree, where Fi had something vaguely helpful to say.














Well, thanks for the hint. I'm going to guess that that GIANT LAKE I couldn't get to earlier has something to do with where I'm supposed to go. You know, since I'm looking for the Water Dragon and all.















Is that a Kikwi? Interesting. I'll shoot him with my slingshot and see what happens.















Wake up, lazy! I'm not sure why I need to talk to you, but whatever.














So he managed to wake himself up enough to fill me in on what was going on.















Really? So where is this Water Dragon?














Yeah, yeah, yeah, get on with it already.














But the access to the lake is blocked by a magical gate. Whatever will I do?!














Sounds easy enough. What else?














Sounds like a piece of cake. And that brings me to my stopping point for tonight. Next time: underwater adventures! Until next time, heroes!