Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Skyward Sword Chapter 18: Bokoblins Stole My Stuff!

...Those jerks. This is Wind Waker all over again! Sadly, I can't remember if anything like this happened in Twilight Princess. But whatever. On with the show!

So, I couldn't help but notice that things looked a bit different when I parachuted into Eldin Volcano...

I have a bad feeling about this...

Oh. Well, that's not good at all...

And somehow I've been thrown in a cage, because Bokoblins took over the whole volcano area while I was gone. This should be interesting...

Of course you are. And the Bokoblins seem to have taken all of my stuff, so you'd better have something good for me.

Gee, ya think? No, I was just going to sit here and twiddle my thumbs until someone rescues me. Unless you think you can do that, tough guy.

Yay, my mitts! Now I can dig my way out of here!

I admit it's not the most glamorous thing in the world, least I'm escaping, right?

And it looks like the Bokoblins have completely taken over the volcano area. Um, I'm not really sure why they decided to do it now, since volcanic eruptions and their aftermaths aren't exactly the most fun things to experience, but whatever.

Ooh, I see a chest in the lower left corner of that picture. I bet that's one of my stolen items, just waiting to be found again!

So, being the good little Hero I am, I started making my way through the volcano area, except this time I had to avoid patrolling Bokoblins and the spotlights on top of the guard towers.

Tunneling my way to freedom is such a fun thing. Well, let's move on. But, on the bright side, at least I don't have Fi babbling obvious things at me, since my sword is gone too. Yay!

Ooh, there's another chest. I bet that's the first item I have to get. And judging by the piles of magma all over the place, I'm going to guess it's the Gust Bellows.

Yay! Now I can...blow wind at things again. So exciting!

Oh, Bokoblins, you so silly. You replaced all my item icons with Bokoblin faces instead! It's like you're trying to piss me off!

Well, anyway...on to the next treasure chest. In order to reach said treasure chest, I had to sneak my way past two patrolling Bokoblins and then tunnel my way past a guard tower to get to the chest.

Yay, my Clawshots! What I'd really like is to find my sword in one of these chests, but that would just be way too easy, I guess. But would it be easier than taking all of these handy Clawshot plants over the lava and up to the upper part of the volcano area? Probably not.

See? Easy peasy. But less blurry.

And here's what I found!

This was about the point that they started putting in Bomb Flowers that I could use to blow things up. Like this guard tower that was keeping me from getting the Whip.

The poor unfortunate Bokoblin on top of the tower got unceremoniously dumped into lava. Serves you right, jerk.

And here I am at the gate to the upper area, where I had to whip the plant to make it rise into the air so I could Clawshot it and get over the gate.

On the other side of the gate, I found some more bombs and used them to clear the way ahead of me, as the tunnel on the right was blocked, as was the airway thing that leads to the top part of the mountain. When I got to the top, I found...

But I couldn't proceed any farther than that, because the way was blocked and there weren't any bombs nearby. So I had to take the other pathway down to the area in front of the entrance to the Earth Temple. Here I am making my way down to another one of the guard towers through a combination of riding on chunks of solidified rock in the magma rivers and using my Clawshots on the plants.

When I got to the ground on the right side of the picture, I had to wait for another piece of rock to show up, then grab a bomb and jump on the rock so I could throw the bomb at the guard tower on the other side of the magma river.

Once again, the hapless Mogma on the guard tower got dumped into the lava. Haha! And in the chest...

 Scattershot, because I forgot to take a picture when I got it back. Yay! Now I can stun those pesky patrollers!

Ooh! I bet that's the last item I need. That's the chest I saw earlier! I bet it has my Bomb Bag in it!

Getting to it was a little tricky, though. I had to get through some gates they'd put up in front of the entrance to the Earth Temple. To do that, I had to stun a Bokoblin who was just standing there staring ahead of him. Then I had to go past him and stun another Bokoblin who was actually patrolling instead of just standing there like a moron. Then I had to go over to the guard tower in the above picture and stun the Bokoblin on top of it, then quickly run to the dig spot and make my way to the chest, because if I was too slow the Bokoblin would recover from the stun and alert his buddies to my presence, which made me start over at the beginning of the area. But at long last...

So, armed with my Bombs, I made my way back to the area with the Mogma guy I couldn't get past before, and went into the volcano Summit, or whatever that super-hot area is called. And when I got inside...

You know, I really would have thought they'd have that under lock and key and guarded by like five Moblins, because, you know, I'm The Hero (tm) and all, and if I can't get the sword back I'm pretty much screwed. Well, whatever.

Oh, goody. I was just getting used to not having to talk to her, too.

Sigh. Well, you know, the area on the far right IS the only area in this place that I haven't been to yet. But you just keep on with your needless handholding.

Yeah, I got it. Shut up and let's go.

Oh, but wait. I'm still missing a whole bunch of my stuff. Where could it be?

Well, at least I've got my sword, so I don't have to sneak around anymore. Let's get this done!

Hmm. I guess I didn't take any pictures. Well, I got to the chest and got my stuff back (they didn't even have Moblins guarding it, just a bunch of lame Bokoblins). The rest of my missing items, plus everything in my Adventure Pouch or whatever, was in the chest. I guess they couldn't be bothered to hide the rest of my items one by one. Well, whatever. I've got a dragon to talk to here.

I had to use my sword, and then the Beetle, to break ropes holding the bridge up so I could get across it. And when I went into the following room...

Something's in the lava! AAAAAHHHH!

Oh, it's another dragon wearing a kimono. Well, okay then.

Well, you know, I saw that symbol somewhere and thought it would be cool to get myself a tattoo...

Okay, let's hear it.

So then the dragon started singing, and it sounded really goofy.

You just keep doing your thing, man.

As long as Link likes it, it's okay.

But only part of it, because just teaching me the whole song and being done with it would be way too easy.

Oh, and then the dragon said the volcanic eruption was his fault.

But he didn't go into any more details than that, so who knows what the dragon actually DID to cause the eruption. I'm thinking it had something to do with an ill-timed fireball being flicked at some hapless Keese or something, and the next thing you know, BOOM!

But everything's okay now!

Yay! Let's hope the eruption didn't result in any lasting damage.

But most of the new stuff the Bokoblins put up is still there for some reason. Oh well.

And that brings me to the end of today's post. Next time: SOMEBODY FLOODED THE FOREST OMG WHO COULD HAVE POSSIBLY DONE THAT. Next time, on...Operation Replay!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Skyward Sword Chapter 17: In Soviet Skyloft, the Triforce Gets YOU!

Hello and welcome to Post 17 of our continuing journey through Skyward Sword. This post may be a bit short, so I apologize in advance. And with that, let's continue with the show...

I had been advised by the old woman at the Sealed Grounds to find someone in Skyloft I could ask about the possible location of the Triforce. But first, I got a tip from someone (I can't remember who) that the fortune teller guy from the bazaar wanted to talk to me. So I went to his house and chatted him up. Turns out he'd somehow managed to break his crystal ball and wanted me to help him get a new one. Because I'm not trying to find the Triforce or anything, which is way more important than a crystal ball, although I guess it would be handy to be able to ask the fortune teller who I should talk to about it...although it should be obvious, really.

You may have noticed that I don't have photos for anything that happened in the above paragraph, and won't have any for the next few paragraphs. I totally blanked out on taking pictures for this section of the game. So here's a crappy picture I made myself in Paint, which actually has nothing to do with what I'm talking about now, but will come up later.

Hmm. That's not as crappy as I thought it would be. Clearly Windows 7 made some much-needed improvements to Paint. Well, it's the thought that counts. Let's carry on.

The fortune teller was able to tell me that his previous crystal ball came from a mountain below the clouds, and since I can only think of one mountain below the clouds, I headed to Eldin Volcano with Scrapper. A few minutes of bumbling later (I landed at the entrance to the Fire Sanctuary, thinking the item I was looking for would be there, only to find it by the entrance to the Earth Temple), Scrapper and I were flying back to Skyloft with a brand new crystal ball, and a strongly-worded letter telling the fortune teller that if he screw up again, we won't be able to help him, because there aren't any more crystal balls at that location. And maybe a suggestion that he learn how to make his own crystal ball so he doesn't have to waste The Hero (tm)'s time next time.

So, anyway. After I brought the fortune teller his new crystal ball, he got all excited and told me any future fortunes from him would be given at half price. Not that they were exactly breaking the bank before, being 10 rupees and all, but I'll take any discount I can get. And the results of the fortune? I should go talk to Gaepora. I probably could have figured that out by myself eventually, but whatever. I headed up to the academy to talk to Gaepora, who - predictably - had no idea what I was talking about. But as I was about to leave dejectedly, he stopped me and suggested I go talk tothe white-haired instructor at the Academy whose name I can't remember, to see if he knew anything about Levias. Who's Levias, you ask? Why, only the spirit of the air I apparently should have heard of before now. What does the instructor have to do with Levias? Turns out he know some flying technique I need to learn before I can go talk to Levias. So I talked to the instructor, who told me about this fancy flying technique, whose name I can't remember (aren't I the worst?), which is apparently very advanced and only taught to the upper-level students because it's so dangerous, but he's willing to make an exception for me because I'm SPESHUL. Yawn. Just teach it to me already.

And this is the part where the post title comes into play. I don't remember if I've mentioned this before, but here's a tip for Nintendo for next time: TEDIOUS DOES NOT EQUAL HARD. IF YOU MAKE SOMETHING REALLY, REALLY TEDIOUS, PEOPLE ARE NOT GOING TO KEEP PLAYING YOUR GAME. Dungeons with confusing puzzles and shit? That's hard. A minigame where I have to hit the speed boost button over and over to make my bird spin so I can hit a bunch of little targets in less than 120 seconds, when the motion controls for said bird are dubious enough as it is? TEDIOUS. I had to try at least 10 times to get past this part. But whatever, anything so you can get people to play your game, which is Totally Not The Same Thing As All The Previous Games. I guess the post title doesn't really make sense. You know, Soviets...this is hard...okay, I don't really know what point I was trying to make here. But, whatever. At last I succeeded (and remembered to take a picture).

Don't act so surprised, guy. I am The Hero (tm), after all. I can do anything, clearly. know, not necessarily on the first try.

Yeah, yeah, shut up so I can move on. Who do I talk to next?

But I bet he hasn't made his offering yet this year. I better go check this out.

Yeah, yeah. Have you done it this year? I'm guessing no.

I'm sure you do. And I'm also sure I get to make the offering myself instead.

Well, look at that. SCRAPPER!

Let's get this done. With our offering of pumpkin, that's inside a giant pumpkin, apparently. Okay then.

So we flew inside the thunderhead and landed on the island with the handy little rainbow on it.

You do that.

Because the one thing a large, hungry creature wants to feel when it bites down on something is a giant "CRUNCH!" of broken circuitry. Oh, just get out of here, you dumb robot.

And with that...SOMETHING SCARY appeared in the clouds!

Oooh, scary. It has red eyes, so it must be scary, right?

And it has a bunch of goofy eyes hanging off of it. Okay, that's cool, I guess...

Well, that...whale thing is flying around in the skies, and it's not like I can do anything to it on this teeny island, so I'd better jump on my bird.

Whee! Since I had to do that stupid thing with the targets earlier, I'm guessing I have to use my new spin technique on the eyes. Fun! So after a lot of blundering around trying to destroy all of the eyes and accidentally running into Levias instead, I made something happen!

I'm guessing that's another eye?

That's definitely an eye. But it disappears every time I fly close to it, so I'm guessing I have to jump onto Levias's back, since he seems to have a convenient platform there and everything. And sure enough...(after I missed the platform and fell to my death twice...)

Looks like Nintendo heard I like fighting bosses, so they put another boss on the boss so I can fight a boss while I fight a boss, as it were. Well, let's do this.

So the parasite started barfing green slime at me, and danged if I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to do (though it should have been obvious). Here's what Fi had to say about it.

Thanks, I guess. After some flailing around, I finally figure out that I was supposed to be deflecting the slimeballs back at the parasite with my sword so they'd hit, get this, NOT HIS EYE BUT THOSE FLAPPY WING-EAR THINGS ON EITHER SIDE OF HIS HEAD. So for once, the creature with the giant prominent eye didn't have to be shot in the eye with arrows. Nice job, Nintendo.

Not sure why I took this picture. Maybe it's the parasite's death flails. Well, whatever.

And with that, magical flying whaleguy is back to normal!

And then he just starts talking to me like nothing happened.

Yep. What's that? I need to learn a new song to find the Triforce? Well, I never would have guessed that.

So what do I have to do to get this song?

Why am I not surprised? Let me guess, I have to go back to each of the three land areas to find the dragons so I can get the bits of the song. Cool.

And that brings me to my stopping point for today. Next time: Eldin Volcano! Eruptions! All my stuff getting stolen! And more! See you next time, heroes!