Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Dragon Age: Origins Chapter 10 - Arlessa Dumbass Saves the Day

Hello, heroes! Welcome to yet another delayed post from my Dragon Age replay. I will try very hard to make two posts this week, but as always, no promises. And now, on with the show!

So, after I did some talking to various people in Redcliffe Village about where the group was armaments-wise (and threatening the village's one resident dwarf and his goons into joining the fighters), I went to talk to Ser Perth, as I'd been instructed.

As am I. That's some fancy armor you've got there. I might have to, uh, "appropriate" it later.

Ah, very good. Finally someone in this grubby town who knows how to address a noble. Carry on, Ser Perth.

Okay, cool. So, can you bring me up to speed with what's been happening around here? With all the babbling about undead, I'm a little confused.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard this story already.

I've heard this too. Get to the good part already.

They hid the ashes in Ferelden? How convenient. And I suppose we'll have to go look for them as soon as the situation here is dealt with. Joy.

Yeah, I met some of your guys on our earlier travels. Too bad there's no reliable way to get the word out that they should come back. You know, since their villagers are getting slaughtered by undead every night.

Well, anyway. Do the knights have any idea where to search for this Urn, or are they basically looking for a needle in the proverbial haystack?

O rly. Well, we'll have to look into that. Just as soon as we've made the dead guys stop trying to eat us.

What? Why am I even here then? Ugh. I guess I'll to talk to the Chantry lady and see if she has any ideas for how to energize the troops. Well, ideas that don't involve lots and lots of prostitutes.

Pray harder, then. And hand out some useless tokens so the militia will think someone's actually looking out for them.

Do it, or I'll tell everyone you've got an illegitimate son in the Circle Tower. Woo, double scandal! Wait - I let all the mages die. Well, I'll do something.

That's the ticket.

Perfect. Time to go talk to Ser Perth again.


Right on, friend. So can we get this over with now?

Later that night...

Zomg! The ominous music is playing! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

"Durr, I was going to brush my teeth before the battle. Oh well, too late now."

Why were all these people milling about on the streets? They should have already been in position!

I like how everyone is running except the guy on the right. "Derp, I should probably go get ready to die for the cause. But I can't be bothered to move faster than a leisurely walk."

What's that ominous yellow dust cloud coming our way? It must be the undead! OH NOES! Is the party ready for battle?

Well. Looks like Wynne's ready, but everyone else got caught flatfooted. Come on, guys.

There we go. Kill those undead.

Some time later...

Yay! Let's go down there and kill us some monsters!

....And then we won, because I forgot to take any screenshots of that fight!


That's right. You owe all your success to me us.

You're welcome. Just so you know, I expect a reward for this. And I won't forget about it, so you'd better start planning how you're going to pay up.


Cool, let's go.

Yes, well, we need to get in and find out what's going on, don't we?

Plan? What plan? How were you going to get into the castle? And on a side note, why is the rest of the party lined up directly behind me?

You could have mentioned that earlier. You know, before I had to risk my life saving peasants from monsters.

Ugh. I am so totally done with you. Come on, guys, let's go storm the castle -

What's this? A strange woman joining the meeting?! No way!

Um, are you going to introduce us, Teagan?

Oh, right, she's Eamon's wife. Okay then.

Well, that's not a suspicious request at all. Look at those slumped shoulders. But anyway. Hey, lady! Are you going to introduce yourself formally, or what? I am a teyrn's son, after all.

I don't think I like you.  And how dare you make a face like that at a teyrn's son?

Anyway, then Alistair spoke up.


Yeah, okay. Screw you too.

Shut up, Alistair. Teagan, what's the situation here?

Oh, okay. So everyone's ignoring me now.

Um...Connor is, like, 8. Just make him leave.


And what's going on, already? So there's some kind of evil force in the castle possessing undead and making your son go crazy? Why do I feel like there's more to this than you're telling us?

Wait a second. Earlier you said you slipped away from the castle. Now you're saying it let you go? Something's fishy here.

Okay, well, let's go see what's going on, then.

Okay, you're definitely hiding something, and I want to know what it is. Don't go with her, Teagan!

What?! Are you crazy? It's a trap!


Whatever. Go die.

I still think you're being a moron about this.

Fine. Give me your ring.

...Wouldn't that make it completely obvious we were up to something? Ugh, whatever, you're the moron-in-charge here.

You know, this whole time I've been wondering why you didn't just step in and become Eamon's regent, but now I know. It's because you're a blithering idiot. But whatever, if you're going to insist on using yourself as fodder for whatever's in there, go right ahead.

And that's where I end for today. Tune in next time for Redcliffe Castle Dungeon Adventure Fun Time! Until then, heroes!