In today's post, Issun and I wander around in the frozen wasteland known as Kamui and try not to freeze while we investigate what's going on. Read on for more of our exciting adventures!
So, the first thing Issun and I had to do after we Bloomed Kamui's Guardian Sapling was to do some exploring and see who we would find. And look who we ran into first!
It's Kokari, former resident of Agata Forest! How could I forget you, dude? You're the one that let a fish eat your dog.
Yeah...I mean, last I checked, Kamui was a really long way away from Agata Forest - and the path was blocked by that lightning sword thing, remember?
HAHAHA. Wait, I mean...what a noble goal!
You took his fishing pole? I hope he doesn't depend on that to feed himself...
Oh, right. We're standing right next to the Arctic Ocean, apparently. Sorry, I meant the Nippon Arctic Ocean.
Well, at least you figured it out now, while you're still young and spry enough to do something about it.
I dunno...I bet he'd cry if I poked him a few times with this sword on my back.
...is waiting to drown you in its freezing depths?
Oh. Well, there you go. Try not to drown, kid.
...You'll be able to save yourself from turning into an ice block?
Yeah, um...good luck with that.
He asked if we wanted to stay and do some deep-sea ice fishing, or some such, and since we're such good sports we obliged. But we had to stop after we caught a Yellowtail Tuna (I think) because I was getting nervous that our virtual toes would freeze off. So, we moved on to the charming village of Wep'keer.
What? You finally realized what a moron you are?
Oh, right. You mean it's not like that all the time?
Unfortunately, we couldn't figure that out, because we couldn't get into any of the houses. I think all the doors were frozen shut. So we made our way up to the chief's house to see what was up.
Samickle? What kind of silly name is that?
Okay? Why don't you shut your yap and stop blocking the way so we can go in?
Why's that? Are you trying to keep him away from us? Who do you think you are, anyway?
Top warrior, huh? There's a joke in there somewhere about '50s-era greasers, but damned if I can't quite put my finger on it. Well, either greasers or manga.
Nice mask. Did Kaepora Gaebora give it to you? Actually, a better question would be, "Was that Kaepora Gaebora's weirdo blue brother?"
He's kind of a pompous windbag, isn't he? Gee...who does that remind me of?
Clearly he's just enjoying the fresh mountain air. You know, before it freezes his lungs solid.
Bwuh?
Haha! Okay, never mind, I like this guy.
White wolf? He doesn't see my godly markings? UNWORTHY!
We'll know your secret soon enough. Until then...
Yeah. I mean, for instance...I'm pretty sure there are supposed to be people in this village?
Yes, I'm sure we're all fervently waiting to hear about that...
Well, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I see. Is Mr. Samickle feeling cranky today?
His own village? Ooh! So he IS from around here somewhere!
Oh, SNAP. This guy is stone cold.
Yeah! We have important business with whoever's in charge!
Come on, man. First of all, you clearly aren't Gandalf. Secondly, on whose authority?
That's...not very hospitable at all and you should be ashamed.
Well, I guess if you're trying to keep people from getting killed by demons, rampant paranoia will do...
Wow. Somebody sounds like they need to be taken down a peg or six!
Whoa! That's not very respectful!
Oh, right. He turned into his dog form right about here. He's not any better-looking as a dog, sadly enough.
Since everyone else in the village was giving us the cold shoulder, I decided to go wander around Kamui some more. But as I was leaving, someone stopped me!
Kai? Who's that?
It's a villager! Whoa!
Oh, you know her? Is she as dumb as you are?
Sounds like she likes you. Should I be suspicious?
It wasn't "talking" so much as "getting yelled at," but yes.
Liar!
Serves you right for leaving, I guess.
Kai's totally thinking, "You'd know what happened if you'd been here, you moron..."
Since we didn't want to end up turning into Popsicles, we accepted the offer.
At least a year, if my calculations are correct.
Hey! My name isn't Wolfie! Issun, tell her my name.
What's that mask supposed to be? Some kind of deer? A surprised deer? Well, I guess the tribe can turn into wolves, after all...
No-Bath? Where did that come from?
And why would we want to take a bath here, anyway! We'd freeze!
Yeah. We want to know why there are so many demons ERRRVRYWHERE.
I mean...is there some equivalent to the Fox Rods that they're all looking for?
Such goofy names.
Let's hope that Oina hero doesn't turn out to have been Nagi in disguise, because that would be lame.
The name "Wawku" makes me think of squawking. Maybe it's a subtle reference to the fact that Lechku and Nechku look like birds? I don't think owls squawk, but I could be wrong.
How convenient.
Let me guess. Something went wrong?
Of course. And now we have to clean up this mess?
Well, that explains his swelled head.
Oh noes! I guess the old man shouldn't have messed with the mechanical owls.
Yeah, yeah, we heard that part already.
All he's doing is only hurting it if he keeps leaving us out in the cold.
Good thing we're here to help, then! Oh, wait, we can't because Samickle is a douchebag.
She went on to tell us that they heard an earthquake from the south the day before Lechku and Nechku broke free, and Kamu said it was "the evil force from the south making its way to Kamui." Okay then. I'm guessing that was from us putting Ninetails on ice.
Really? I would have thought it was the land of hidden morons, going by Samickle's behavior.
Oh. Well, that's...not very encouraging. Why would anyone live here at all, then?
Yeah, I'm sure that was the question on all our minds...
Well, now he's just standing around outside his house down in Kamui. Is he going to do anything useful, or stand there until he turns into a snowman?
...He took his toys and went home?
Close enough.
Probably because he thinks he can defeat the demons by himself because he's such a badass. He just gets to shiver in the cold until Kutone starts glowing.
She went on to explain that while everyone was mad at Oki for taking the sword, Samickle believed in him and thought Oki would eventually come back to help.
Maybe the cold snap is finally getting to him?
Don't tell me she's his girlfriend or something...
Whew. I think we dodged a bullet there.
I'd make a joke about her being buried in a snowdrift somewhere, but you guys do have dog noses, so....yeah.
So, why is this girl important? Don't tell me you need her for some ritual.
Why else would she disappear? Surely she'd know better than to wander off during the most epic blizzard this place has ever seen. But why would demons want to kill her?
How's that?
But before Kai could explain any more, we heard a spooky howl from outside.
Ooh! Maybe he found out we're here and wants to see us! Or maybe he was trying to stoke his fire and singed his foot or something.
Cool! Let's go!
So we ran back up to the elder's house, where Samickle was waiting for us. He'd turned back into a human and said Kemu was waiting for us, so we went on inside.
He's just lying there on the floor. Let's hope the icy hand of Death didn't get him!
But all we had to do was stand there and let Issun talk for a while.
I may have asked this before, but how did he "tan your hide," exactly? Because I'm pretty sure a full-size person attempting that would just squash you like a bug.
Uh oh. He is alive!
What followed was an amusing little scene where Kemu chased us in circles around the hut until I got the idea to head-butt him.
I'm not really sure what the problem was, to be honest.
I guess he must be the village's resident disciplinarian, eh?
I like how everyone immediately recognizes Issun even though they can't really see much of him. It must be his voice.
Am I wrong, or does he look like a chipmunk with chubby cheeks?
Yeah, he was basically telling us to go pound snow.
Haha! Issun, why don't you go outside and argue with Samickle some more while the important people talk?
Her sister is missing?
Hah! Got it in one! See, I told you I could pay attention!
People keep saying that, but they don't explain what they mean by it. Hurry up and tell us before we all freeze our tails off!
I see.
Well, I can see why we need to get her back then. Should we start looking right away, or wait until she's a little icicle first?
Well, that's what it sounds like...
Okay, I stand corrected.
Right. Something to do with keeping everything from freezing solid?
Volcanoes? Whuh oh. Molten lava and blizzards are totally a terrible combination!
I really hope that's a good thing...
Oh. Well, I suppose that's good.
Wait. Why would you intentionally make TWO volcanoes erupt?! Wouldn't that destroy...oh, whatever.
That's...really unfortunate.
Chillier and chillier, icier and icier...until, finally, everything is frozen solid.
Blah blah blah, everyone will freeze, blah blah. Why don't you all just move south where it's, you know...NOT THE BIRTHPLACE OF ALL KNOWN EVIL?
Okay, okay, we get it, Kamui must be saved.
Pretty sure with how the situation keeps going from bad to worse...he'd have done that already.
See? Idiot.
Of course he doesn't. Which is why we need to go look for this girl instead of standing around talking.
...You have wolf noses and you still can't find her? What's wrong with you people?!
THEN WHY AREN'T YOU LOOKING RIGHT NOW?!
...Oh. Of course.
...So, the reason people aren't there looking for her right now is because...?
Okay, whatever. So you haven't dispatched anyone to this Yoshpet because...?
By this point we'll probably only find a Lika-shaped snowgirl, but whatever.
But if you don't, everyone dies!
Haha! Kemu just ignores him.
Right. Can you stop talking now so we can do this?
Are you sure you're helping your cause by referring to me as a furball?
Ooh! You can see who I really am! You're more worthy than Samickle, at least!
Yay! You can see my sword!
I, uh...well...close enough, I guess.
Cool. So, can we go search now?
Don't waste your time! Shiranui and I are basically the same thing, anyway!
I never said I wasn't going to!
I know, I know...
OKAY, WE GET IT.
Which is really inhospitable of you. Don't you think your people would be able to recognize A DEMON if they saw one?
That's really comforting.
What does that have to do with anything?
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
And that brings me to my stopping point for today, unfortunately. Tune in next time as Issun and I explore a frozen lake, talk to a mysterious mystic, finally enter the fabled forest of Yoshpet, and...visit Issun's homeland?! NO WAY!
Until next time, heroes!
