After I broke all the pots Issun told me to break (by swinging the Wii Remote), the game taught me how to jump up walls and open chests. So we continued onward...at least until we came to an unfortunate roadblock.
My question is...how does a bridge in this place get broken anyway? It's magical, right? Oh...right...this is the tutorial. Anything can happen here! So let's watch Issun fix the bridge.
He also talked about the spirits of the brush, which are what lets us fix things with a paintbrush. But he didn't say much, apparently, because I don't have any pictures of it.
Voila! Fixed bridge. Although it does seem a little silly that you can fix things basically by scribbling all over them with the brush. But whatever.
Interesting. So, let's say one of my shoelaces breaks. I can fix that with a paintbrush, too?
I guess so. I'll have to remember that next time I snap a shoelace.
He went on to say that there are 13 brush gods. Originally there was only one (who happens to be Amaterasu), but after she died, her power was split into 13 separate gods. Okay then. But Amaterasu (that is to say, I) is/am alive now, so shouldn't she (that is to say, I) have all the powers to start with?
Oh, wait, the plot says she (that is to say, I) shouldn't have all the powers from the beginning. Got it.
So we traveled over the now-fixed bridge and found a statue to inspect that said something about crossing the River of the Heavens, which is a river of stardust, apparently. Except Issun is dumb and didn't know what in this area could possibly be the River of the Heavens.
Issun, you are an idiot.
So instead of trying to cross the River of the Heavens, we explored a nearby hillside and found a pretty constellation.
If you say so. They just look like blue stars to me.
Is that a dragon? Weird.
So Issun tried to draw in the missing star, but couldn't do it. So I did it instead (by "dotting" the star onto the canvas. Ooh, so hard!)
And then the star dragon/snake/thing came to life and flew down to talk to us. Not even kidding here.
Hi, snake guy! So, would you mind telling us why you were hanging out in the sky?
Oh, right...survival. So, what now?
Oh, so that WAS the River of the Heavens? Issun, you're an idiot.
And then Yomigami taught me the extremely useful power of Rejuvenation. Yay!
Of course I can, you dolt! Watch me knock your socks off!
*Scribble scribble scribble*
Do you get it now? I actually am the goddess of...
Why are you being so obtuse?!
Okay, whatever. Here we are swimming across the River of the Heavens.
And here we are on a path we found after we went through the doorway in the previous picture.
So we continued up the path and found ourselves in a cave with a giant statue of a guy with a broken sword.
Woo! Cave of Nagi? What are we doing here, exactly? How confusing. Well, I think I'll fix the statue's broken sword while I figure it out.
Alley-oop!
I guess he's being obtuse because the plot says he should be obtuse. Silly plot.
Weren't you listening five seconds ago when Yomigami called me Amaterasu? Geez.
Well, whatever. Let's take a look at the sky and see what we can see.
Is that a...mouse? Okay then...well, let's fill in the missing star and see what happens.
It's a mouse with a...sword? That's really bizarre...
So, Tachigami told us the "shrine dedicated to ancient heroes" was the only place he could hide. Okay. Or you could have hidden right next to Yumigomi. Well, I guess you technically were right next to him, really, but still.
So Tachigami taught me the Power Slash ability and sent me on my way. Why don't I have all of these powers from the start, again? Oh, right, the plot. So Issun babbled about how if I have these powers, I'm just like Shiranui. Well, we kinda already knew that, but whatever.
Fortunately, there was a handy rock sitting a few feet away from us.
I will say that there was definitely a learning curve for getting this game to recognize my brushwork. There's a part later on where you have to slice a whole bunch of things in a row, and I COULD NOT get the game to recognize my slices no matter how hard I tried.
But I persevered, and sliced my way to victory.
Okay. Anyway, I sliced the rock in half.
Well, that's encouraging...not.
Yeah...good luck with that.
So we left the shrine and headed back out to the little path we were on earlier. There was a handy arrow at the bottom of the screen to show us where to go (not that there was anywhere else we could have gone, but we don't need logic here!). But before we could really go anywhere, we stumbled onto a group of demons.
But these were pansy demons. All I had to do was hit them with my shield and Power Slash them when they turned gray. Piece of cake!
There's my scorecard. After every fight one of those shows up. If you finish a fight in an acceptable amount of time and do an acceptable amount of damage, you get a bonus. In the above fight, I took too long to kill the demons, but damaged them sufficiently. So I got a bonus! Yay! 427 yen! That'll help me destroy the bad guys!
So, anyway. After the fight was over, we were on our way back to the big dead tree. Here's a blurry picture of the helpful arrow.
And here's another picture of the helpful arrow pointing at Sakuya's fruit! You know, just in case we couldn't figure out where it was.
Yay! Well, time to cut down the fruit.
When it hit the ground, the resulting cutscene showed what was basically a wave of flowers restoring the area to its almost-usual beauty, complete with flowers blooming everywhere. This is kind of corny, but cool at the same time. I mean, it's hard to take all those flowers seriously.
Yay! Those are some fast flowers. I'll try to take video of the next time this happens, because I don't feel like I'm describing it very well. Okay, anyway...
Yay, the town is back to normal...almost.
Yeah...like I said, almost. Why is everything all green?
And why does that guy look like a statue?
Looks like they're all statues. Clearly something is wrong here. Of course, Issun probably would have stood there talking about it forever if the Plot Roar hadn't intervened again.
ATTENTION: THIS IS THE PLOT ROAR. STOP BEING OBTUSE AND GET SOMETHING DONE HERE. OR AM I BEING OBTUSE?
I DWARF YOU, PUNY INSECT-MAN. NOW GET BACK TO WORK.
ME TOO.
*cough*
Um, I mean, me too.
No shit, Sherlock. What do we do now?
But, as usual, you don't think I can do it. Well, watch this, smart guy.
Tah-dah!
Are you getting it now, you incomprehensible moron?
Right. Idiot.
But before we could go find the villagers...a villager found us!
His name is Mr. Orange and he's got an orange on his head. Subtle! I bet this guy likes oranges. Actually, it would be hilarious if he hated them.
Anyway, he didn't recognize me. He thought I was just some normal white dog like Shiranui. But then he insulted me and said I was too dumb to understand speech, or something.
What were you expecting me to do, imbecile? You just called me dumb!
Oh, really? I bet you do. You hate oranges, don't you? Say it! SAY IT!
Looks like you can sense demons, Mr. Orange. Boy, look at all those demons I didn't take any pictures of. Now, if Mr. Orange will just let me use him as a blunt object for a second...
Yay! Demons destroyed!
I'm not going to lie. In the cutscene, I threw Mr. Orange at the demons right before the fight. You know, because throwing an old man at them is totally the way to beat them.
Blah blah blah, Issun talking about how the gods are so weak people can't see them anymore, blah blah...Okay, let's go see how Mr. Orange is doing.
He'll be fine. Let's go!
So we found the rest of the townsfolk. Wonder of wonders, they're all back to normal! Let's talk to Mrs. Orange, first.
I'm not a wolf, lady! I'm a goddess! Ugh.
Well, whatever. The old lady grumbled about how her laundry drying pole had disappeared. Those naughty poles, I swear...
Fortunately, we know how to scribble our way to victory! So we scribbled Mrs. Orange a new pole and went to meet the local sake brewer.
Ooh, stop me before I wolf whistle! AHAHAH, I crack myself up!
What's that? You want to talk about Susano, the drunkard local "warrior?"
Okay, cool. Well, let's go say hi, I guess.
But he wouldn't wake up, no matter how hard we hit him. Okay, well, Issun said he wanted to go see how the rest of the world was faring, so...
What that...how did a giant rock get there? I don't have to get a giant bomb from the Gorons to get rid of it, do I? Oh, wait, wrong game.
Turns out the guy pushing on the rock is the local merchant. Somehow he'd gotten the idea that he could move the rock if he could just get his weakling body to cooperate. Yeah, I don't see that happening, pipsqueak.
So we went to talk to Susano again. Maybe he can chop the rock out of the way?
Wake up, drunk! *headbutt*
Sure you did. You weren't hiding down here or anything. Oops, I'm not supposed to say anything about that yet.
Well, there's this giant rock outside, and...oh, hey, time for your title card.
So, like I was saying, there's this rock?
Oh, so it's like that, is it? Okay, come outside and deal with that rock before I make you.
Time for me to make you do it, then. Well, you asked for it!
Oof. Let's get you outside before you break my back, you big oaf.
And here's a blurry picture of me running with Susano on my back! I feel like taking action pictures in this game just isn't going to work, but that might just be me.
But when I got Susano to the rock, he promptly said he need to go to his "training grounds" for "preparations." Okay then. So I followed him to his training grounds, which are right behind his house.
Okay, so...what are you going to do, exactly?
Sake? Oh, gods...
Hah! That's a philosophy I can get behind!
Wait. Um. No! I don't procrastinate at all! Not even a little bit!
So, anyway...we're supposed to get him sake? Am I the only one that thinks giving more alcohol to a drunkard is a bad idea? Is that something a god would really do? Well, I guess it's the only way I can move the plot forward, and gods forbid the Plot Roar rear its ugly head again. Let's go talk to Kushi.
The mill's broken, you say? How convenient. But apparently demons broke it, because Kushi was dumb enough to give them sake. Why would you give sake to demons?
Seriously. If you're that dumb, you deserve to have your mill broken. But I digress.
Yay! I get to scribble on the broken mill wheel!
It's a miracle!
It's a miracle! Now get brewing!
So she brewed some sake and gave it to me. You know, because she completely learned her lesson from giving sake to strange creatures.
Time to go give sake to the alcoholic, I guess. I'm going to feel bad about this later.
Uh, yeah. Don't do anything stupid, okay?
So he drank the sake, and decided to show me his signature move, called...
Woo, cool...
But, Susano being the failure that he is, I had to slice the rock for him. Along with four or five targets. Why do I get the feeling I'll be doing this a lot?
Oh, wait. When he was done slicing the first rock, he got all inspired, ran up the road, and he (that is to say, I) sliced the giant rock in half for him.
Right. "He" sliced the rock. Sure.
Sure, take credit for all my hard work.
Okay, cool. And then he ran off, I guess...and then Sakuya popped up out of nowhere.
Are her...assets bigger than they used to be? I think they are.
And leave it to Issun to try to take credit for my great works. Actually, I'm seeing a pattern here.
Zing!
Of course, this pissed off Issun pretty bad, so I had to pin him down with my paw.
Calm down, man. Sakuya has something to say.
Blah, blah, blah, something about roots and saplings all over the country.
What's that? You want me to revive your saplings scattered all over Nippon! That sounds like something straight out of a Zelda game! I'm not doing it unless there's something in it for me!
Sigh. I suppose I'd better do it, since I'm a goddess and everything. Wait, is that a butt?
Uh, okay. I guess we're doing this.
Famous last words, indeed.
And with that, I've reached my stopping point for today. Wow, this post ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be, but I guess that's a good thing.
Oh, and yes, the "being obtuse" thing was a Family Guy reference. Yay for Family Guy being funnier than I am! Woo!
Until next time, heroes!
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