When I last left off, Issun was busy insulting the narrator. Don't blame me if you turn out to be a total fraud!
He wanted me to unleash another victory howl, but then he remembered Kaguya was still in her jail cell. Hey, I've got an idea too! That idiot Issun's still a misogynist!
Yeah, I gathered that, from the fact he was still snoring and everything. Why do you refer to everyone as "pops?"
Wait a second. Isn't that basically what Blight was doing? How does us doing it make it any better?
BECAUSE HE'S A HUMAN BEING WHO DESERVES TO HAVE CONTROL OF HIS OWN BODY?
No, no! Stop!
Don't do it! You'll be no better than Blight!
Why are you surprised? Somehow you're taking control of his body by bouncing around in his stomach, and you're surprised?!
You mean YOU made him stand up, because I don't want any part of this.
So we made the "royal oaf" lurch his way through the backyard of his palace. I'm sure that wasn't suspicious at all, but I guess the guards just figured he was drunk or something. After talking to a couple of guards, both of whom were flabbergasted that the Emperor was actually up and walking around, we eventually got to Kaguya's cell.
Well, in a manner of speaking...
...lurking inside the Emperor's body? Well, if you want to get technical...
Urge to strangle Issun...rising...
Well, since you're such an idiot, I was kind of hoping someone would step on your along the way, but no such luck.
And you're being controlled by your douchebaggery!
Oh, right, we were trying to break her out of jail.
Woohoo, we got her free!
Why is she wearing a helmet? Weird...
And then presumably we're going to free the Emperor again, right?
Coochie coochie coo? We're just releasing the Emperor right now? Okay then...
WHEE!
That's a blurry picture of the Emperor sneezing us out, in case you couldn't tell.
And I've expanded back to my normal size, to boot! Yay!
Yay! It's howlin' time!
Woohoo! We succeeded in our mission! The city is saved!
Before we left, we decided to have a chat with the now-freed Emperor. Turns out he sells stuff in exchange for Demon Fangs, but I didn't have enough fangs to buy anything interesting. I'll have to remember to Power Slash more demons at the end of fights so they drop them.
It also turned out the Emperor's just kind of a benign ruler who doesn't really do anything (except sell stuff). I get the feeling Queen Himiko is the real power behind the throne. Oh well. We'll have to work our considerable charms on her instead.
Did you figure out why you put her in prison, or was it just for kicks and giggles?
Secret treasure for crossing a sea of fire? That's a new one. I wonder what we'll need that for.
How convenient. So you can't be held accountable for the atrocities you've committed? Well, we'll be back once we find something we can pin on you!
Oh...right...well, Blight did have his nasty hold on you...I suppose we can let things slide, THIS TIME.
Yeah, okay. That's definitely what happened. Laterz!
You keep saying that, but why do I get the feeling you'll just go "BOOBS" and forget all about how made you are? Did I make that joke already?
And then it was finally time to leave the palace. On the way out, we found this!
Ha! It's the area where we had to traverse all the deer scares. This is what it looks like normally! It doesn't quite match up with the actual dungeon though. Oh well. I should have checked to see if I could use Waterspout on the deer scares.
And this is the area where I had to traverse the various spiderwebs to climb up the dresser and onto the rafters of the Emperor's sleeping area (on the left). That doesn't quite match up to the actual dungeon either.
I would like to add that I really like the aesthetics of the Emperor's palace. All the little doors that roll up when you get close to them, and the fancy furnishings, and the blue sky outside...it all just seems so peaceful. I could totally live in a place like this.
Okay, anyway. When we left the palace and went back to the city, we ran into Kaguya again right outside the gate!
Uh...thanks?
Are...are you hitting on me?
I don't think she was talking to you...
Hee hee hee. She was hitting on me!
Once the fooling around was done with, Issun advised Kaguya to go back home before other people started trying to take her "fiery treasure" or whatever the thing is she has.
But what? You got a taste of big city life and now you can't get enough?
Oh, and apparently she's not really Mr. Bamboo's granddaughter. The plot thickens!
Are you deaf, or what?
Really? So did Mr. Bamboo name you Kaguya, or what?
How odd. Wait...a bamboo grove?
How convenient.
Oh oh. Is it flashback time?
Oh. Guess not. Darn!
That's...really not very helpful. Like, at all.
Yeah, okay. You just go ahead and think about that, I guess.
Oh. Well, you should probably keep thinking then...
Well, the Royal Crest doesn't really help, but I know where there's a bamboo grove...wait. Isn't that in the area of the game we completely abandoned?
...Yep. Looks like the game designers remembered the old part of Nippon still exists!
So, being the naughty eavesdroppers we are, we followed Kaguya to Sasa Sanctuary. Surprising no one, Mr. Bamboo was there with her, too.
Okay...either he's really short or she's really tall. Or maybe he's just stooped with old age. Or maybe it's all three of those things, I don't know.
I could be wrong, but I think it's generally considered rude to point out someone's wrinkles...
Silly, silly old man. You know that's not going to happen, or the music wouldn't be so sad right now.
Oh, who am I kidding? This whole scene is really, really sad.
Wait. What about Mrs. Bamboo? You have a wife, don't you?
Ouch!
That's really cold, Kaguya!
Somehow it's the key to wherever you're going?
And then she did something magical, or something!
What's going on? Are we going to die?!
A hole in the ground? This just keeps getting crazier and crazier!
How bizarre. Wait, don't jump in the hole!
Too late. Well, I suppose we'd better follow her and do the digging game. Yes, there was another digging game. But it only took me two tries! And when it was done...
Uh oh. What's happening now?
Something's coming out of the ground?
That looks like a spaceship. Is that a spaceship?
Shut up, idiot!
A spaceship was calling you? Well, I suppose that's plausible.
So then Mr. Bamboo confessed that he knew the "bamboo shoot" was there the whole time. He was in the bamboo grove harvesting bamboo one day and BAM! The mysterious bamboo shoot showed up and Kaguya fell out of it. She looked like she was on her deathbed, so Mr. Bamboo took her home and raised her as his own. Somehow the giant bamboo shoot went back into the ground, but I guess we don't need specifics.
Oh, his wife died. Oops!
Aww...
Double aww...
Triple aww...
Aww, they're hugging. This is so sad!
Then stay! Why do you have to go? Issun's all sad now.
You can't be any more specific than that? You're leaving your adoptive grandfather all alone in the world!
Well, I guess that's a good enough reason...
She sounds so flip about it. "I'm leaving you forever, but it ain't no thing. I'm totally coming back!"
Yeah...I don't think she's coming back.
She's going to give us something? What could it possibly be?
Oooh! I bet this'll come in handy somewhere! Not sure where though...
Uh...how, exactly?
Okay, whatever. I'll just slap an "Important Plot Item" label on it and move on, I guess.
She's totally not coming back.
And with that, it was time for the mysterious "bamboo shoot" to blast off! Here's a handy video.
Unfortunately, I couldn't think of anything funny to say at the time. Oh well.
Looks like Kaguya's a real...
*puts on sunglasses*
...space cadet.
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH
Okay, anyway. I've reached my stopping point for today. Next time...we'll find out what the Fire Tablet is for! At least...I hope we will.
No comments:
Post a Comment