Blah blah blah, new post, not enough time to play, blah blah. In today's blog post, Amaterasu overcomes the game's dumbest challenge, runs into Waka again, removes the cursed zone from Taka Pass, and does some other stuff too. Let the stupidity begin!
When I left off, Amaterasu had just unleashed a howl of victory while waiting for Ume the dog to wake up. Apparently he did wake up eventually, so we headed out of the Tsuta Ruins and immediately bumped into Kokari, who was either really angry or had way too much caffeine for breakfast.
Hey! I'm not a dog! I'm a wolf! Get it right! And lay off the Diet Coke.
Too late! We already did your job for you. Look, the dog's awake, and he looks like he wants to eat you!
No, it's some other dog that looks just like Ume. Geez, this kid is dense.
NO THANKS TO YOU, JERK.
Yeah, apparently he didn't want to leave until he was good and done with his spelunking. Or maybe he just wanted to get away from this idiot kid for a while.
No, he's mad at you because you're a dumb!
He wanted to have an adventure! But we're all just a bunch of spoilsports!
Especially you, because you're a failure at life.
That's right. You're so dumb, even a dog is smarter than you.
Which you still haven't done. Wait a minute, I can fix broken bridges with a swish of a brush. Why do I have to waste all this time helping this dumb kid?
And I could have just painted a new bridge in five seconds. Gah.
Yay! You're finally going to fix the bridge I could have fixed hours ago!
Great! Go build that bridge!
You go right ahead and do that, junior. And I'll just follow you over there, since I'm sure I'll get roped into doing all the work for you.
The only thing he's going to be surprised about is how long it took you to get finished. Now go get started!
So, after a brief detour feeding some deer, we headed down the path to Taka Pass. Soon enough we encountered the broken bridge just in time to see Kokari do something I wasn't really expecting to see.
That's...not how I would have gone about building a new bridge. Well, I guess I would have just scribbled a new one, but whatever.
Susano? Where did you come from?
I have no idea. But I'm sure we'll find out!
And yes, there was a lamp on in the background when I took that picture. It got turned off.
He's on a raft now? When did that happen? And just what is Imploding Barrel, Flying Monkeys? Well, I probably don't want to know...
...He casually shouted, while being washed down the river. "HEY GUYS, MY NEW SECRET TECHNIQUE...."
So the tree trunk came flying down the river, hit the rope, and pulled everyone into the water...
...and then I had to go through a completely stupid sequence where the tree trunk floated down the river really fast and I had to use the Celestial Brush to draw vines from blossoms on the riverbank to the convenient hooks on the sides of the tree trunk. You know, because apparently Susano decided he needed to pretty up the trunk a little bit after he cut it down.
Oh, and there was a two-minute time limit. Yay!
Did I mention we were moving really fast, so I didn't have much time to use the Celestial Brush on the blossoms? And if the game decided to be stupid and not recognize my brushstrokes, at least 10 seconds got pretty much wasted every time? Yeah. I can't remember how many times I failed the first time I did this, but it was at least twice.
I did fail on the first try, but part of that was because I was busy taking screenshots. Yay!
And then I ran out of time because the game wouldn't recognize the last brushstroke I needed to get.
Fortunately, time rewound itself for us or something, and we started at the beginning again, where Issun had some helpful advice.
Thanks, Issun! I never would have known to do that! Whatever would I do without you?
Fortunately, the second time I managed to attach vines to all of the hooks...
...and with that, we were magically YOINKED back up the river. Woo!
And then the log magically landed sideways from how it started out, and became the new bridge. See, I did end up doing all the work after all. Well, most of the work.
You and me both, man.
Yeah, it's...something. Well, I guess it's a nice bridge if you're physically fit enough to climb onto it. Oh well.
Don't encourage him! He might do something catastrophic and we won't be there to save him!
It might be a little late to ask this, but why is the dog purple? Ehh, never mind...
So then we bid the kid adieu and took off.
I predict more idiots we'll have to save. Babes in the woods.
Well, look at that. Another cursed zone. You'd think we'd be used to seeing those by now.
Well, duh. How would we heal the land without one?
So we continued up the path and listened to a tea seller and one of his customers moan about scary howls and cursed zones. Sounds like the Plot Roar is at it again! We'd better check it out.
And here's a handy bomb spot. It led to a tunnel with a big wooden ramp inside. We went in and were about to go up the ramp when...
Dammit, not again!
I am not evil! You're just a moron!
Weren't you the gods' gift to women last time? Make up your mind!
Oh, yes. It was thrilling. You should have been there!
I like how my shield keeps showing up in some cutscenes but not others. They really thought I wouldn't wear those beads I got last time? Which reminds me, I forgot to equip that new shield I got from the Spider Queen. Oh well.
Well, you could have been less confusing about it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, tell me something I don't know.
You saw it? How?
Oh, come on. I finished it in record time!
Yeah! How did you watch the battle? There was no way anyone else could have been there!
For real. Jerk.
Not Pillow Talk again...
With blood? I'm down!
So we fought again, and I won again. Whoo! Take that, you daffy bastard!
Damn right I'm not bad. One more second and I would have kicked your ass!
So you came here to ask me a question, but ended up attacking me instead? Oh, come on.
So he asked if I'd been to Lake Harami yet, because something about a barrier over the entrance to the Moon Cave and needing a "Serpent Crystal" to open the barrier.
I have no idea. You didn't lose it, did you? Because I could totally see that being something you'd do. Since you were a failure at protecting the Moon Cave and all.
Exactly. See, Issun, sometimes you don't say stupid things.
Windmill, eh? Sounds like we'll have to pay it a visit after we straighten things out in the pass.
Oh? What worthless piece of drivel are you going to tell me this time?
Oh, come on! That's even more worthless than last time!
Get out of here, you worthless poser.
Okay, where were we?
Way ahead of you, champ. Let's go find that sapling.
So we got to the top of the ramp in the tunnel and exited said tunnel to find ourselves on a hill overlooking the pass.
That's a big cursed zone down there. Gonna take a powerful strong Guardian Sapling to overcome that. Well, let's go.
There it is!
But first, I have to scribble a new bridge.
Wait. So I can scribble a new bridge here, but not back at the entrance to the pass? I call bullshit. Or something.
And the bridge is fixed!
Whoo! The pass is back to normal!
And with that, I've reached the end of my post for today, because apparently I don't have any more space to put photos on the post. Weird...well, anyway, we'll be investigating the windmill and other weird things next time.
Until then, heroes!
1 day ago