Saturday, March 9, 2013

Okami Chapter 18: The Baddest Dragon That Ever Lived

Welcome to today's new blog post, readers! It's going to be a short one, because I couldn't fit it onto the end of my last post and it won't really fit into the next one, either. Never mind, it ended up being long enough to justify its own post. So, let's get started.

At the end of my last post, we had just finished exploring the scary sunken ship. Apparently this took us a day or two, so when we went to leave the ship, the sun came up...and the open area around the ship filled in with water again.


No problem, right? Aside from the "having to swim to shore" part. So, we swam away...



...and everything was all well and good until the sea started making waves.


For some reason, this made Rao nervous. I can't imagine why.


Why? You don't like getting wet?

But then something started making splashes in the water behind us.


The game's sure trying pretty hard to make this look ominous...


It would be handy, though. Wait, this is feudal Japan. They have speedboats?



No, you don't get it, Issun. You're being incredibly obtuse!


Eww.


We don't? When did you decide that? I'm the one she's riding, here!

(Obligatory joke about porn goes here.)



SHUT UP ISSUN SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP



YOU'RE TELLING HER TO PEE ON A GODDESS

WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT

SHE'S PROBABLY DONE IT IN A PORNO BEFORE BUT COME ON


Of course he doesn't! He's an idiot!


"It?" What's "it?"


Well, whatever it is, it's getting closer...



So I should paddle faster, is what you're saying? You know, you could probably go faster yourself if you jumped off and broke out the old front crawl. Swim your way to victory!



He's still an idiot, I see. Push him off my nose, now!


...Right. Well, I am a goddess after all...


Yeah! We'll use our skills as artists!


Um...how big did you say this thing is, exactly?



NEVER MIND

I THINK WE SHOULD RUN SWIM AWAY NOW


NO TIME FOR STUPID QUESTIONS! SWIM AWAY!


Is it focusing on Rao first? Quick, swim away while it eats her!


I DON'T THINK IT REGRETS MESSING WITH US!


SHUT UP AND START SWIMMING! IT'S STILL TRYING TO GET RAO!



SWIM AWAY WHILE SHE'S TIPTOEING THROUGH THE TULIPS, I MEAN WATER!




Wait a second. How's she doing that? Is it possible there's more to Rao than meets the eye? Oh, and she's luring the Water Dragon toward a handy boulder!



BONK.


Yes, and he's a total BAMF who's about to try to eat us! Can we swim away now?!


FINALLY HE'S GETTING THE PICTURE!



And then the game dropped us into the open water with the Water Dragon coming right at us. Sorry for the horribly misaligned picture. All we could do was swim frantically, but it was a futile endeavour, and then we sank...



...and the Water Dragon ate us. Looks like it's the end for Our Heroes (tm). Well, as they say, we gave it the old college try...wait, the credits aren't rolling?

Oh. We just washed up on the shore. Lame.



Yeah. There's something suspicious about Rao. I'm sure if we thought about it enough...ehh, boobs, never mind.



I'm sure you'd like to give her something...

And then the weird mallet we found on the treasure ship jumped out and started doing calisthenics or something. I'm going to refer to it as the Plot Mallet.


I guess they couldn't think of a better transition than that. Oh well.

And then the Plot Mallet ran away! After it, heroes!


Of course, Issun's only thought was how much he could sell the mallet for, but I'll set him straight on that in a second.

Here's a blurry picture of us chasing the mallet!



Unfortunately, I was running a little too fast. This might be better...


Okay, not really. Well, here we are going over the bridge to the Aristocratic Quarter...



Woo!

And then we took a minor detour to Rao's house, or shrine, or whatever it's called.


He's mad at her for abandoning us, yet he still calls her a babe. Sigh.


She told us about it, but Issun was too distracted by boobs to listen.



If she really was trying to trick you, it'd be easy! All she has to do is jiggle her boobies and you start drooling!



Oh, come on. Spill the beans about how you got away!


Sorry about the blurriness. Way to insult us, Rao. Now we don't want to help you anymore!


FINE, I ADMIT IT! I'M A TERRIBLE SWIMMER! *sob*



Ugh. Enough about the Fox Rods! You know, there were a lot of crates in that ship that we didn't look inside! Maybe they were in one of those!


With our luck, they got eaten by the Water Dragon. Ha! How hilarious would that be?


Yeah...


Looks like we're boned.

And that's not a pun!



Give it up, Issun! You could never pleasure her anyway!

And with that, it was back to chasing the mallet. Wonder of wonders, it stopped in front of the tiny hole in the wall at the Emperor's palace.


Yeah! Take that, you...hammer!


Um, HELLO? The Fox Rods? Try to keep up!



-give me all the money, right?


What? The mallet has an ulterior motive? I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED.



No, it was just messing with us. Let's go sell it!


I'd call that an Unlucky Mallet, myself.


Why does the mallet have a mind of its own? Have we figured that out yet? Why are we trusting it?


See? Why are we trusting the mallet? It wants us to do something dangerous!


Oh, you do have a brain. Okay, have at it.


You do have a point.

So we decided we should probably investigate the source of the mist since Queen Himiko apparently wasn't going to do anything. Also, we still hadn't found any new brush techniques, and clearly miniaturizing ourselves will help us do that!


I have a bad feeling about this...


HAHAHA, YOU MADE A PUN! I BET THE LOCALIZATION TEAM REALLY PATTED THEMSELVES ON THE BACKS FOR THAT ONE!


Here's an unfortunately short video of Amaterasu getting shrunk!

video


I wanted it to be longer, but the phone wouldn't cooperate. Oh well.

On the other side of the hole, I found myself...in a forest?



I've been shrunk. Why is there a tiny footpath here for me to follow? What else has been walking around down here? *shudder*


Bwuh? Who's there?!


Oh, it's just Issun. Great, we get to put up with his idiocy on his own level!


Oh yeah? I'll mess with YOUR head if you don't knock it off.


Clearly we're going to have to introduce ourselves again, because Amaterasu is an idiot.


Sorry, I don't know you. Arf!


I don't believe you. Do something to make me think you're really the Wandering Artist!


I didn't think slashing leaves was something an artist did...



Ooh, stylish.


I guess that's what artists do, then.


Only to someone your own size! Hahah!


Right. You've said that before.



Hey! You take that back!



Oh, I've got all sorts of fight in me! Come over here and let me show you!

Unfortunately, that brings me to my stopping point for today. Check back next time to see Ammy adventuring in the royal palace, squaring off against such things as feet! And brooms!

Until next time, heroes!

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