Saturday, May 5, 2012

Skyward Sword Chapter 24: The Legend of Groose: I'M REALLY GANONDORF LOLOLOL, Coming Soon

What's this?! Two posts in one week? Impossible! Well, hold onto your hats, because it is possible, and it's going to happen. So, let's get on with it!

I left off yesterday with Not-Ganondorf telling me to come find him in a special place he'd prepared so he could kick my ass in style. Little does he know that HE'S the one getting the ass-kicking...

Oh, I don't fear for my life. I fear for YOUR life. Let's do this!

Well, aren't you the overconfident one.

This place is actually pretty cool, come to think of it. Here's a bad picture of it.

The "floor" we were standing on was really shiny (and shallow) water. The whole thing was really pretty cool. I guess this was supposed to be the Sacred Realm? Whatever.

Oh, I will. You know, since I can't use any of my weapons against you except for the Master Sword. But I'll make sure to flail a lot.

So intimidating! Well, are you done with your monologue yet? Sheesh, these people and their speeches.

I guess it's time for the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny. Looks like Link is still pissed! But I guess Not-Ganondorf is still nomming on Zelda's soul during all this, after all.


Okay, I guess it's go time. As you can see by the following picture, the fight didn't start out very well.

Well, uh, nobody's perfect, I guess.

So the first part of the fight was pretty straightforward. Hit the boss, try (and usually fail) to dodge his attempts at hitting me, hit him some more, etc. But then we got to the second part of the fight, which was WAY more epic. The ominous cloudy sky started erupting with lightning and Not-Ganondorf kept charging his sword with lightning.

Which was really annoying. Also, in the first part of the fight, Fi gave me her stupid analysis that said I wouldn't be able to use Skyward Strikes against him. But in the second part? Yeah, that shit is totally acceptable, except nobody told me. I suppose it should have been obvious from the whole Not-Ganondorf-keeps-charging-his-sword thing, but whatever. So I had to raise my sword up in the air while dodging Not-Ganondorf and wait for a bolt of lightning to hit it so I could Skyward Strike his ass, except he could Skyward Strike me too and if we both did it at the same time they canceled each other out. So I had to time it exactly right. Once the Skyward Strike hit Not-Ganondorf, it would stun him for a while and I could run up and hit him with my sword and then do a Fatal Blow. As with the previous fight with Ghirahim, it took three Fatal Blows to finish him off, but at last I was victorious.

But then he got back up.

It isn't? Well, stop babbling so I can kill you then!

Ugh. This again? Look, this is a Zelda game. I realize this. You don't have to drone on about how you're going to keep coming back like a bad rash. Especially since this is a prequel. WE GET IT.

Fine. Just do your thing, man.

You know, you're basically just standing there saying the same thing over and over. Hurry it up already.

Oh. Looks like the babbling is over. Hurry up and turn into a black mist already.

...And then, in a surprising turn of events, the Master Sword nommed on the black mist to give Not-Ganondorf's...essence a taste of his own medicine.

And then Fi popped up to explain what exactly what was happening.

Whoo! Success at last!

And then I went back into the Sealed Temple, where everyone was waiting for me.

This looks like it wanted to be a heartfelt reunion with Impa, but Impa kinda hates me, so I don't really get the point of this. Oh well. Where's my girlfriend at? Oh, there she is!

And then, of course, Groose had to walk by and spoil my reunion with Zelda.

Okay, seriously. How is Groose not Ganondorf? He is totally going to end up being one of Ganondorf's ancestors. I can see it already.

And then he spoils that by saying he was just joking. Oh, Groose.

Yay! Groose got congratulated by Impa. I don't think she's ever congratulated ME.

I suppose we should stop wasting past-time and get back to the future. But first, Fi wants to say something.

And? Your point is?


Cool! Let's do this!


Yes! Seal her away for all eternity!

But then she started talking again.

Shut up and go to your eternal sleep already.

How sweet. And predictable. But I don't believe that for a second. She's never given any indication that she cared about me at all. Whatever, Fi.

Oh, stop with the manufactured robotic emotions. No one cares about you, Fi!

"The batteries in your Wii Remote are running low"?

Okay, get out of here already so I can get back to the future.

And when I got back over to my friends, they were trying to convince Impa to come to the future.

See, she's young-Impa. If she goes to the future, she'll meet the old lady who is Old-Impa and the resulting time paradox will destroy the universe.

But Impa is resolute in not wanting to be the reason for the universe's destruction, so Zelda gives her one of her bracelets to remember us by.

Aww, how sweet. Well, at least she has a memento to look at while she guards the Master Sword in its pedestal.

Ooh, what foreshadowing. I wonder what's going to happen when we go back through the Time Gate? The first thing we see is the old lady, and...


Okay, anyway.

How sweet. And then...she went all sparkly and disappeared, with no explanation for how she managed to stay alive for a thousand years.

Bye, Impa. Hope you enjoy your afterlife.

Aww, Groose is the most upset. Well, he'll get over it.

And then the doors at the top of the stairs opened and we got a nice view of the Master Sword in its little pavilion.

And then...credits!

The credits weren't too bad. Soothing music, with some scenes showing what happened to Zelda after the storm at the beginning of the game. Cool stuff. And then there was a scene after the credits!

Some of the other people from Skyloft came to the surface to check things out, I guess. Meanwhile, Zelda and I were hanging out on top of the Goddess Statue.

You know, there's no explanation for what happened to the rest of Skyloft. Is it just hanging there in the sky for all eternity? I'm guessing the people all moved back to the surface, but...yeah. Some explanation there would have been nice.

Of course you want to live here, because you're supposed to set up the kingdom and be the princess, etc.

Then she asked what Link wanted to do, but we don't get to see what his answer was, because the game is over.

Lame. Oh well.

So, there we have it. Skyward Sword is complete, and I think I managed to finish it in about 60 hours. I forgot to look at the time on my save file before it got erased for Hero Mode.

My verdict: I liked the game, and I liked that I was able to beat it without a guide (aside from a few hints here and there) but like I've mentioned before, hard should not equal tedious. If you can't get the motion controls to work better, then screw it and go back to Twilight Princess-esque stuff. Because it would have been a lot less annoying that way.

And with that, I'm done with this game! I've already decided what game I'm going to play next, but I'll leave you in suspense until next time.

Until then, heroes!

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