Friday, July 6, 2012

Dragon Age: Origins Chapter 6 - ...HEY! LOOK OVER THERE!

My sincerest of apologies for not posting in such a long time. I think part of the problem is that Dragon Age is a game that's really already aware of its shortcomings and doesn't take itself too seriously as a result. It's a little harder to mock the game when it's already mocking itself plenty (this is why I probably won't cover Portal or Portal 2 on this blog).

So, anyway. Let's get back to the blogging, shall we? In our last post wayyyy back on June 9, I retrieved Shale from Honnleath and then mentioned something about going to Redcliffe next. Well, I changed my mind. Let's roll!

I decided it would be better to travel to the Circle Tower first, because reasons. So, we made our way to the Circle Tower Docks area, because we couldn't travel directly to the tower, oddly enough. I WONDER WHY?

Well, there's said tower. It's always the middle of the night whenever we come here, for some reason. It's also always night at the party camp, but that at least makes some sense. Oh well.

So, let's head to the tower, shall we? Wait, what's this?

What's your deal, guy? You look like you've been traumatized or something.

Someone needs to calm down and tell me what the problem is, mmkay?

Oh, now you're getting lippy with me? Well, here's some Important Documents for you to look at.

I missed getting a screenshot of his response, which was something along the lines of, "Don't question royalty!" Which was quite humorous.

Yeah! I'll help you take his pants off!

That's more like it. Now get in the boat and start rowing, since you were kind enough to fire the usual boat-rower.

Oooh. Doesn't that lake look intimidating? And the templar gets to row us across it while we sit in the boat looking important. Woo!

So I walked into the tower...

...and found more templars making plans. Okay, who's in charge here? Because whoever it is obviously screwed something up real bad.

Yes, indeed. He's Knight-Commander Greagoir, leader of the templars. Not to be confused with Knight-Commander Meredith, certified sociopath. Oh, wait, she doesn't show up until the next game.  Hey, Greagoir, I'm going to have a word with your boss when this is all over.

I'm not leaving until somebody in this dump agrees to help me. So THERE.

If you don't agree to help me, I'll march to Denerim right now and come back not only with the Right of Annulment, but an order from the Chantry calling for your head on a plate. How does that sound?

Wow, looks like you really screwed the pooch there. That's okay; I'm just the man to take care of this delicate situation.

Wait, what?

Am I going to have to clean up your mess for you? I hate it when I have to clean up other people's messes for them. And what's an abomination, anyway?

So, should I just cut your head off right now for being a colossal screwup? If I had a horse, it would be able to run the templar order better than you!

Oh, that's your excuse? "They took us by surprise?" You're templars! You're supposed to be watching these people's every move to make sure they aren't going to become blood mages!

Greagoir, I think you're in the running for the "Worst Knight-Commander Ever" award. Is this the part where I take the situation into my own hands and fix your mistake? Oh, and I think you mentioned something about the Right of Annulment. What is that exactly?

Oh. Well then. But I enjoy the thought of every mage in the country locked up in this tower to protect us from the rest of them. Isn't there another way?

Oh. Well, let's get on with the purging, then, possible innocent survivors and all.

So, are you going to let make me clean up your mess for you?

Sigh. Okay, let's do this.

Ooh, I'm so scared. Come on, let's get this done.

Won't that already pretty much mean the Circle is destroyed? I mean, what if we find the First Enchanter in the first room we walk into? Not that that's likely.

So, we went through the big doors and a templar closed them behind us.

He was shaking his head when I took that picture. Probably thinking, "Those poor bastards." Or maybe, "I could really go for some fro-yo right now."

And on the other side of the doors, we found...carnage.

Mages and templars alike, struck down by demons and/or abominations. Creepy. Well, let's keep moving.

Wynne? The sanctimonious old lady from Ostagar? Well, blow me down. I was sure some darkspawn probably stabbed you in the back. 'Sup?

Oh, you're fighting a demon. No biggie. I'll just chill until you're done.

Whoa! Hey now, I'm just here to save you all from yourselves! Don't kill the messenger!

Are you shaking in your boots yet? Because you should be.

We can't risk possessed mages running free, abominations are dangerous, rabblerabblerabble. Also, who's going to protect your friends there while we're gone?

See? Because you're old. Get it?

Oh. Well, in that case, Alistair is pretty much always available. Carry on.

Shut up and do my bidding, woman.

So she dispelled the barrier...and nothing happened. Okay then. Well, apparently the game just assumes she alone of the mages isn't possessed. That's probably a mistake. But I don't want to give anything away this early.

And then we proceeded into the Circle Tower. The party makeup this far is: myself, Wynne, Morrigan and Shale. This should be fun.

Oh, and Morrigan said something about how the mages are mindless sheep who deserve to be destroyed by demons for letting themselves be caged, but she's kind of an idiot, so whatever.

Here we are fighting some abominations!

And then we found a guy wandering around in the rubble like nothing was wrong.

What's the deal with you, guy?

So, what's the deal with you?

Wynne clearly knows him. What's the deal with this guy?

Seriously, what's the deal with this guy and how has he not died yet?

Ohhhh, that explains it.

Well, let's move on. What have we here? A cabinet with somebody hiding inside it?

Totally going with the "Kick the door open" option. GREY WARDEN, BITCHES!

Pathetic, indeed. Who hides in a wardrobe? And how did the abominations not hear you?

Get out of here, you weirdo.

And then we found the door to the second level of the tower!

Here's a roomful of dead bodies waiting to get up and attack us.

And here we are fighting a desire demon and some possessed templars.

And eventually we found the door to the third level!

And on the third floor, we found...another desire demon and some guy?

Uh, okay. But now he's wondering who's at the door.

The door? But we're in a tower. Hey, guy, you need to snap out of whatever funk you're in!

Ugh. Can I slap this guy now? Uh, also, what's your deal, desire demon?

Too bad. Why are you mind-controlling that guy?

Um, you're draining him of his soul while you're doing it? That, and you're kinda funny-looking.

You tell her, Wynne.

Okay, well, clearly I'm not going to be able to talk you out of this. How about I just kill you instead?

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Time to die, foul temptress!

Bandits? So he's supposed to believe you stood there and talked to the bandits for 10 minutes before they decided to murder the children? Geez, if he's that dumb he deserves to die.

Take that, demon. Okay, let's move on.

Well, what's going on here?

Well, you look like a jolly fellow. What's your name? Considering you're a demon, I probably don't want to know. But whatever. I have a tower to clear out, but thanks. Now why do I feel so woozy?

My sentiments...exactly...*yawn* Why am

Are you...sure...? Well, okay then...I'll just go to sleep here on the floor...

Gah! The Fade?! Oh, that trickster! I hate this place!

Unfortunately, we'll have to continue this in my next post, as I've run out of time for tonight. Good thing I've got a secret weapon to use in my fight in the Fade. And by, "weapon," I mean "mod." Yeah! Until next time, heroes!

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