Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Skyward Sword Chapter 17: In Soviet Skyloft, the Triforce Gets YOU!

Hello and welcome to Post 17 of our continuing journey through Skyward Sword. This post may be a bit short, so I apologize in advance. And with that, let's continue with the show...

I had been advised by the old woman at the Sealed Grounds to find someone in Skyloft I could ask about the possible location of the Triforce. But first, I got a tip from someone (I can't remember who) that the fortune teller guy from the bazaar wanted to talk to me. So I went to his house and chatted him up. Turns out he'd somehow managed to break his crystal ball and wanted me to help him get a new one. Because I'm not trying to find the Triforce or anything, which is way more important than a crystal ball, although I guess it would be handy to be able to ask the fortune teller who I should talk to about it...although it should be obvious, really.

You may have noticed that I don't have photos for anything that happened in the above paragraph, and won't have any for the next few paragraphs. I totally blanked out on taking pictures for this section of the game. So here's a crappy picture I made myself in Paint, which actually has nothing to do with what I'm talking about now, but will come up later.

Hmm. That's not as crappy as I thought it would be. Clearly Windows 7 made some much-needed improvements to Paint. Well, it's the thought that counts. Let's carry on.

The fortune teller was able to tell me that his previous crystal ball came from a mountain below the clouds, and since I can only think of one mountain below the clouds, I headed to Eldin Volcano with Scrapper. A few minutes of bumbling later (I landed at the entrance to the Fire Sanctuary, thinking the item I was looking for would be there, only to find it by the entrance to the Earth Temple), Scrapper and I were flying back to Skyloft with a brand new crystal ball, and a strongly-worded letter telling the fortune teller that if he screw up again, we won't be able to help him, because there aren't any more crystal balls at that location. And maybe a suggestion that he learn how to make his own crystal ball so he doesn't have to waste The Hero (tm)'s time next time.

So, anyway. After I brought the fortune teller his new crystal ball, he got all excited and told me any future fortunes from him would be given at half price. Not that they were exactly breaking the bank before, being 10 rupees and all, but I'll take any discount I can get. And the results of the fortune? I should go talk to Gaepora. I probably could have figured that out by myself eventually, but whatever. I headed up to the academy to talk to Gaepora, who - predictably - had no idea what I was talking about. But as I was about to leave dejectedly, he stopped me and suggested I go talk tothe white-haired instructor at the Academy whose name I can't remember, to see if he knew anything about Levias. Who's Levias, you ask? Why, only the spirit of the air I apparently should have heard of before now. What does the instructor have to do with Levias? Turns out he know some flying technique I need to learn before I can go talk to Levias. So I talked to the instructor, who told me about this fancy flying technique, whose name I can't remember (aren't I the worst?), which is apparently very advanced and only taught to the upper-level students because it's so dangerous, but he's willing to make an exception for me because I'm SPESHUL. Yawn. Just teach it to me already.

And this is the part where the post title comes into play. I don't remember if I've mentioned this before, but here's a tip for Nintendo for next time: TEDIOUS DOES NOT EQUAL HARD. IF YOU MAKE SOMETHING REALLY, REALLY TEDIOUS, PEOPLE ARE NOT GOING TO KEEP PLAYING YOUR GAME. Dungeons with confusing puzzles and shit? That's hard. A minigame where I have to hit the speed boost button over and over to make my bird spin so I can hit a bunch of little targets in less than 120 seconds, when the motion controls for said bird are dubious enough as it is? TEDIOUS. I had to try at least 10 times to get past this part. But whatever, anything so you can get people to play your game, which is Totally Not The Same Thing As All The Previous Games. I guess the post title doesn't really make sense. You know, Soviets...this is hard...okay, I don't really know what point I was trying to make here. But, whatever. At last I succeeded (and remembered to take a picture).

Don't act so surprised, guy. I am The Hero (tm), after all. I can do anything, clearly. know, not necessarily on the first try.

Yeah, yeah, shut up so I can move on. Who do I talk to next?

But I bet he hasn't made his offering yet this year. I better go check this out.

Yeah, yeah. Have you done it this year? I'm guessing no.

I'm sure you do. And I'm also sure I get to make the offering myself instead.

Well, look at that. SCRAPPER!

Let's get this done. With our offering of pumpkin, that's inside a giant pumpkin, apparently. Okay then.

So we flew inside the thunderhead and landed on the island with the handy little rainbow on it.

You do that.

Because the one thing a large, hungry creature wants to feel when it bites down on something is a giant "CRUNCH!" of broken circuitry. Oh, just get out of here, you dumb robot.

And with that...SOMETHING SCARY appeared in the clouds!

Oooh, scary. It has red eyes, so it must be scary, right?

And it has a bunch of goofy eyes hanging off of it. Okay, that's cool, I guess...

Well, that...whale thing is flying around in the skies, and it's not like I can do anything to it on this teeny island, so I'd better jump on my bird.

Whee! Since I had to do that stupid thing with the targets earlier, I'm guessing I have to use my new spin technique on the eyes. Fun! So after a lot of blundering around trying to destroy all of the eyes and accidentally running into Levias instead, I made something happen!

I'm guessing that's another eye?

That's definitely an eye. But it disappears every time I fly close to it, so I'm guessing I have to jump onto Levias's back, since he seems to have a convenient platform there and everything. And sure enough...(after I missed the platform and fell to my death twice...)

Looks like Nintendo heard I like fighting bosses, so they put another boss on the boss so I can fight a boss while I fight a boss, as it were. Well, let's do this.

So the parasite started barfing green slime at me, and danged if I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to do (though it should have been obvious). Here's what Fi had to say about it.

Thanks, I guess. After some flailing around, I finally figure out that I was supposed to be deflecting the slimeballs back at the parasite with my sword so they'd hit, get this, NOT HIS EYE BUT THOSE FLAPPY WING-EAR THINGS ON EITHER SIDE OF HIS HEAD. So for once, the creature with the giant prominent eye didn't have to be shot in the eye with arrows. Nice job, Nintendo.

Not sure why I took this picture. Maybe it's the parasite's death flails. Well, whatever.

And with that, magical flying whaleguy is back to normal!

And then he just starts talking to me like nothing happened.

Yep. What's that? I need to learn a new song to find the Triforce? Well, I never would have guessed that.

So what do I have to do to get this song?

Why am I not surprised? Let me guess, I have to go back to each of the three land areas to find the dragons so I can get the bits of the song. Cool.

And that brings me to my stopping point for today. Next time: Eldin Volcano! Eruptions! All my stuff getting stolen! And more! See you next time, heroes!

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