Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Okami Chapter 34: Lots of Talking, Not Much Doing

Hello, heroes! Welcome to my 34th Okami post. Today's post comes quite late, as I'm sure you've noticed. I actually wrote it on my phone, but couldn't post it because the Blogger app just can't handle lots of photos, apparently.

So anyway...in today's post we find out just how much of a prick Oki is, and...well, that's about it, really. Okay, let's get this show on the road!

At the end of my last post, Issun and I (apparently) teleported out of the Spirit Gate right after a giant boulder crushed the past-version of me. This is what Issun had to say on the other side:

You mean that wolf that looked exactly like me?

Yeah...also known as me. Well, the past me.

Yeah, I kinda knew that already, but thanks for the tip.

Why are you insisting on rehashing all of this? It's like you think the players can't keep track of what's going on in the game or something...

And? What are you getting at here?

Hey, the missing girl speaks! Nice to meet you, I guess.

Yeah, but it would have been a lot nicer if the whole village wasn't in danger of freezing to death while we stand here gabbing...

We're all dying to know. Were you demon-possessed, or did you decide to get up to some mischief in the middle of a blizzard?

Yeah, you know, that thing we just came through?

The gate everyone knows leads to misfortune if you go through it?

Two owls? Where have I heard about them before?

You reminded them about how bitterly cold it is outside, right?

How very sneaky of the owls.

Doggie? Who are you calling a...oh, never mind.

Did she stutter or something? Why do you always repeat what everyone says? Are you just too dumb to understand?

Well, they were, before they were corrupted and became demons, apparently.

Because they want everyone to freeze to death. DUH.

But before Issun could mindlessly repeat more of what Lika was saying, we all got distracted.
Didn't somebody say something about a Day of Darkness approaching?

Crap! I'm going to change back into a human any second!
Wait, never mind. This isn't Van Helsing.

Then we'd better get back to Kamui before everyone freezes!

Okay, seriously?

You don't know what the Day of Darkness is? I can't believe Issun paid attention in class and you didn't.

Yeah, and?

I guess we'll find out if we keep standing here, huh?

What are you, stupid? Nobody told you what a sun god is?

Ha! Just cut to the chase and don't bother explaining me, then.

Okay, seriously? You're really this clueless? Where's a Clue Tongue when we need it? Or a Clue Mallet?


We know. He told us. That's why we came to find you.

He told us that too. Like I said, that's why we're here.

So why are we standing here talking?

Oh, we can go now? OKAY!

So we made our way back through Wep'keer, Issun stopping us periodically to comment on how bad the blizzard had gotten. I don't know why he was surprised by it, since the old man warned us that it was going to happen. There was no one in the village, so we kept going.

But at long last, we struggled our way through the blizzard and up to the altar near the frozen lake. But nobody was there.

How strange. Oh well. Time to start praying, Lika!

We can't? Why not?

Fine! I guess we'll have to go up to the entrance of the Wawku Shrine and see if they're there.

Sure enough, they were there, and...hey, wait a second. YOU brought Lika? Oh, whatever.

It's the Day of Darkness, you dunce. We knew this was going to happen, remember?

See? Told you.

Right, right, we know. Now skip to the important part.

Because they want us to freeze to death, right.

Oki? What did that douchebag do now?

Ugh. I am so done with this guy. Next time he needs me to save his bacon, I'm not doing it.

So he went all crazy on us? That's just great.

So, in other words, you're a failure?

There was a really cold wind blowing out from the doorway to the shrine, you see. You can see some of the villagers in the background of the photos trying to close the door, but it was just no use.

Yeah, I noticed. But he's a douchebag, so I didn't really care.

Well, he was pretty upset according to the Narrator...

I wouldn't put it past him, but he's probably just trying to figure out why the sword he stole won't glow.

If you say so, lady...

I don't, and he put the whole village at risk by taking it.

There's a saying out there, but I can't quite remember how it goes. Something about a road to hell and good intentions? It's right on the tip of my tongue...

Go on...

Don't care! Still a douchebag!

I thought so too. How did Oki get dragged into it?

Well, I guess that was pretty brave, but he's made a lot of boneheaded decisons since then.

Yeah, yeah, whatever. How did he escape alive? I bet he ran away crying about a glowing sword.

So now I get to go fix your mess again? Why doesn't that surprise me?

Just in time to royally screw things up for everyone else, right?

Doesn't matter! He's still a douchebag!

So he let his anger get the best of him. That's really heroic. Why do you keep making excuses for this guy? Do you have the hots for him or something?

Right. That's the part where he screwed up the first time.

He said he didn't care if Lika died. Did you know that?

Oh, whatever. He's just trying to feed his ego. HE'S AN ASSHOLE.

We're aware of that, you failure. What do we do now?

I knew it. What do we have to do?

The kind that puts more thought into their decisions?

As he did the complete opposite! Okay, what now?

...I'm pretty sure it would.

Knock yourself out, kid. Just...not literally, because that would be bad.

Take care of her, Tuskle. Oki couldn't.

There was another reason? Okay, let's hear it.

I thought we knew that already?

He already tried to do that and failed miserably. Let's hope we don't find him dead in there.

What silly names. I suppose there are worse ones, like Tuskle. Or Samickle.

Oh, they aren't the actual guardian owls. Just a couple of statues. That explains a lot.

If they were statues, why didn't they just destroy them? I mean, if word got out that I was letting my village be terrorized by a couple of statues, I'd be pretty embarrassed.

I wonder whose major blunder led to that happening. Don't tell me Oki did it...

Of course it isn't coincidence. This is a video game.

All I remember him saying was something about kicking our asses right before we kicked all nine of his asses.

Oh, right. Well, I'm sure we'll find out more about Yami as soon as the plot says we should.

And with that, I've reached the end of today's post. Check back next time to read about our freezing-cold (or perhaps blisteringly hot?) adventures in the heart of the Wawku Shrine!
Until next time, heroes!

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