Thursday, August 4, 2011

Twilight Princess Chapter 6: Workin' in a Goron Mine

I'm kind of surprised that I actually had time to finish the Goron Mines this week, but I'm not complaining, I guess. Okay, well, let's get started on this tale of ineptitude heroism!

I stepped into the Goron Mines, ready for adventure, and hopped my way across the first series of cracked rocks surrounded by lava.

I continued onward, using the Iron Boots to stand on switches to deactivate fires (for smelting? I guess this is a mine, after all...) but didn't get very far when I noticed I was down to two hearts of health. Whatever, I thought. I'll just go outside and get some hearts. Yeah, there were no hearts to be found in the main Goron room, so I ended up having to go to the hot spring to get my health refilled. And the Gorons outside Gor Coron's room kept attacking me. You know, after I already talked to Gor Coron and got him to lay off the attacks. Nice.

Okay. With my health refilled, I was ready to press onward! Let's get this started.

As soon as I got past the first fire, something came out of the lava and set my wooden shield on fire. I really should have anticipated this. I briefly contemplated attempting to complete the dungeon without a shield before I trudged out of the dungeon, out of Death Mountain and all the way back to Kakariko Village to get a new shield.

The Internets My instincts told me there was a Hylian Shield for sale at Malo Mart. You know, that place I already explored back when it was still empty. Now Malo is there selling stuff.

Cool. I'm looking for a Hylian Shield?

There we go. Good thing I at least had the 200 rupees required to buy it, or I would have been really pissed.

So, I got back on Epona, rode all the way back to Death Mountain, climbed my way up the cliff, and headed toward the Goron Mines again. I had to defend myself against rolling Gorons again to get back up there. Yeah, okay. You sure you want me to go into your precious mine and save your patriarch? Because if you did, I don't think you'd be trying this hard to stop me, jerks.

Finally I made my way back to the dungeon.

Okay, we're finally ready to get this show on the road. So let's do it, shall we?

After making my way past a few small puzzles, I entered one of the dungeon's main rooms. The cutscene seemed to think this thing was important.

Cool, I guess. I went down a ramp to my left and found a small key in a chest at the very bottom. The key unlocked a door at the end of the ramp to my right. I was just happy I found the key before I found the locked door, and not after, because that would have been annoying.

In the next room, I had to defeat some kind of fire-breathing gecko, and make my way across more cracked rocks surrounded by lava to get to this wall with a chain in it.

By using the Iron Boots to pull the wall sideways, I opened up a small hallway leading to another door. I had to run to the end of this hallway, jump across some rocks, and then get to the door before the wall slid back across the hallway and blocked it. I got it on the first try!

The next room was full of water and some bluish-green metal stuff. I wonder what that could be for.

I had to jump in the water, put on the Iron Boots, sink to the bottom, and hit that switch you can see in the picture. This activated some kind of magnetic field that lifted me up in the air and onto the green metal stuff, where...the Iron Boots stuck to it magnetically and I could walk on it!

Haha! Screw you, gravity!

In the next room, I met...a Goron Elder? Well, okay. He told me that Darbus has been locked up somewhere for his own safety, and that they split the key to his room into three pieces. He then handed me the first piece of the key and told me to find the other Goron Elders to get the rest of the pieces.

In the chest right behind him was the Dungeon Map! Yay.

I made my way to the room's exit, and saw one of the nearby jars on the floor wobbling around. So I picked it up, and...

It's Ooccoo! Why, I never in a million years expected to see you here. Now get in my bag with all this other stuff I never use, and let's go.

I don't remember what led up to this, but in one of the rooms I had to use the Iron Boots to walk on the walls to get to the next door.

In another room, I had to get a Small Key out of an underwater chest using the Iron Boots. I thought this was pretty cool.

Later on in the same room, I encountered two of this game's version of Beamos. I don't know what the plural of Beamos is, but whatever. This is them.

I can't really say I expected those things to be here, since they don't really seem like a Goron type of invention, but...maybe the lasers are used for working with metal, or something...

In the next room, I found another Goron Elder, who handed me the next piece of the Big Key.

Then he told me a super-secret weapon was waiting for me in the next room, and that I had his blessing to just walk in and take it. Cool!

Then I got into the next room, became...abundantly clear...that I wouldn't be able to just...waltz in and take it....

Apparently he didn't get the memo from the Goron Elder.

To defeat this guy, I had to hit him on the stomach to make him curl up, then put on my Iron Boots and do my best to throw him off the edge of the metal plate thing and into the lava. This was easier said than done, but at last I prevailed!

Yes. Who knew that a puny human could beat you so handily? Take that, Goron.

Turns out the treasure I was looking for was in the next room...and it was THIS!

Huh. That's funny. I kind of thought a treasure belonging to the Gorons was more likely to be some kind of hammer. You know, because I can't see any Goron managing to draw a bow without snapping it in half. Well...least I got a bow, I guess.

I went through the next door and found myself in a room full of Beamos(es?) all trying to shoot me with their lasers and kill me. I had to use the bow to shoot their glowy eye jewel things.

No, I didn't have to put the Wii Remote down to take this picture. Why do you ask?

There was a small side room attached to the room full of Beamoses, so I went in and found the last Goron Elder. I'd contemplated skipping the room for lack of time, so I was glad I decided to go in. The Elder, of course, gave me the last piece of the Big Key and told me to hurry to the boss.

In the next room, I encountered one of the stupidest things about this game. I found a chest with a Purple Rupee inside. Cool, right? Well, I didn't have enough room in my wallet to take it, so...

Really? Ugh. Whose dumb design decision was this?

Well, anyway, let's continue on. The next room was a large open area with a lot of bridges, ramps, etc. and I had to use the bow to shoot a lot of Bokoblins that were sniping at me from various places.

I managed to keep the Wii Remote pointing at the screen for this picture! Yay! Unfortunately, the enemies are already dead, so just imagine some Bokoblins standing on that ledge up there, and you'll have it.

At long last, after solving a few more puzzles, I made it to the boss door! I was kind of pissed at this moment because I broke a whole bunch of jars looking for a fairy I could put in a bottle, but was standing too close to the one jar that did have a fairy in it, which gave me its fairy benefits before I could catch it in my empty bottle, thus wasting the fairy. Sigh.

I went through the big door...and found...FYRUS!

Huh. Well, that doesn't look too scary, I don't know what the Goron Elders were...

Oh. Oh.

Well then.

The objective for this guy was to shoot the jewel on his face with my bow, then grab one of the chains hanging off his legs and drag it backward with the Iron Boots until it made him trip and fall, then run up to his face and hit the jewel some more with my sword. This was actually pretty easy.

So, big scary Fyrus was defeated.

The jewel fell off his head, blew up, and turned into another Fused Shadow. Meanwhile, Fyrus turned back into Darbus.

After that was done, Midna explained a few things about Zant, the king of the twilight, who's really powerful or something. I don't know, I was too busy thinking about other things, like whether I could go back and get that Purple Rupee.

After Midna was done babbling, I tried to talk to Darbus, but he was too confused to say much.

Something about Darbus just screams "Biff Tannen" to me. Oh, I know what it is. It's his idiotic haircut. Nice one, dude.

After Midna teleported me out of the dungeon, there was another cutscene with Colin. Something about how whenever he felt weak, he thought about me and Ilia and it made him feel better, or something. Ilia who? You're just not getting through to me, kid.

I guess I'm going to have to go look for Ilia. FINE. Where is she, anyway?

Lanayru Province, eh? Okay. Come on, Midna, let's go look for what's-her-name.

Next post: More searching!


Styve said...

Ah the joys of entering a new dungeon only to leave and return... and leave again... and return to finally get started! (Cheap Gorons holding out on hearts.)

Question: What is the point of the magnetic green stuff if the Gorons don't have iron boots?? This mine seems poorly engineered. I don't think those Goron elders have all their rocks in one pile... more to the point, they put Biff Tannen in charge of their people.

I have never, I repeat, NEVER understood the use of the Ooccoo/dungeon return things they try to give you. They may very well work, but whose going to test it when they're half-way through the dungeon only to find out it just takes you back to the entrance or something? Maybe I'm just too paranoid, but I've never risked it.

I think it would be Beami (bee-m-eye). But these were nothing compared to those ever-watchful laser nazis in other Zeldas.

Also, I really wish they would put in more sniping. There's the Gerudos in Ocarina and then these bokoblins (sp?) in the mines. Otherwise I never learn how to use the bow decently.

I do recall those Fyrus chains being a bit freaky but scarier still is why Ilia does not have a tracking devices implanted somewhere! I'm gonna take a wild guess and say she's not just frolicking in a Lanayru field waiting to have a picnic.

Styve said...

Update: Having just beat the Goron Mines in my addiction to/game of Zelda, I would just like to share some thoughts.

The iron boots are the most tedious walking devices ever conceived. I felt like each clunk across the green magnets was hit to the head.

I still love sniping.

adejaan said...

Haha, yeah. CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP. Sounds like Link's coming! Damn it, I hope we don't have to replace our floorboards again...