Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Twilight Princess Chapter 19: Shootout at the Hylian Corral!

Yay, another post! It's been a while since I've had three posts in one week. Well, we all surprise ourselves sometimes.

In the previous post, I had just rolled up to the entrance to the Hidden Village, where Darbus was punching away at the rock blocking the way. I watched him punch for a while, intrigued, but finally decided to let him give his fists a rest.

Cool. Well, it's good to get that out of the way. You know, because I thought you were just here punching that rock for fun.

According to Darbus, there were 20 baddies lurking in the village.

I'd need to take them all out before I could proceed with my quest to find...whoever it was I was looking for. Well, cool. On with the Western music! It's time to have us a good-old-fashioned shootout!

I vaguely remember doing this the first time I played the game. Okay, yeah, it is pretty awesome. The whole shooting-out-windows thing, and diving for cover behind anything I could find, and nailing baddies right between the eyes with a well-placed arrow. Oh, and running around in circles collecting arrows the baddies shot at me (you can pick up arrows that hit the ground) after I ran out of ammo a few times.

I can't really think of any way this could have been better. Okay, maybe if I had a gun, but there aren't any guns in Zelda.

Well, okay. There was one way it could have been better. When I was down to one baddie left to kill, I broke out a window in one of the buildings and found an area in the back that had a howling stone in it. Naturally, I turned into a wolf and did the howly thing. When I woke up, I was immediately barraged by arrows. All of the enemies had come back, because the game couldn't be bothered to remember that I'd already killed all but one of them. Sigh. So I basically had to do the whole shootout twice.

Other than that, it was pretty awesome. And the music is fun.

So, at last, the final enemy died to my sword. Or bow, I don't remember which now.

It's the Sheikah lady! She addressed me as the "savior" and then introduced herself as Impaz. Really creative with the name there, guys.

Uh, okay. So you're basically just stuck here, alone, a prisoner in an abandoned village? Sounds like a fun life you must lead.

Blathering is right. Okay, what precious item are you going to give me?

Alien Link is...ambivalent, I guess. Cool.

Yeah, yeah, touching, sweet, etc. I'm on a tight schedule here, lady.

After the old woman was done talking, I warped back to Kakariko Village and showed the charm to Ilia. It jogged her memory for the last time!

She remembers everything now! Yay!

Wait. She remembers everything now. Dammit! How do I break the news about Zelda to her gently? Wait, Zelda disappeared. I might have to settle for this girl after all. Decisions, decisions...

The kids are spying on our happy moment. I'll have to let her down easy.

This had better not be a ring. Okay, hand it over...

Really? She just gave me the charm back. Okay, whatever. Now I have a whistle I can use to call Epona. This would have been a lot more useful if I'd gotten it back before I could WARP ANYWHERE I WANT.

After she gave me her useless gift, Ilia had some advice for me.

Wait, so now I have to go back to the hidden village? But I was just there. Why didn't she give the "something" to me then? Sigh. I warped back to the hidden village... discover that Impaz is a crazy cat lady. I was swarmed by cats as soon as I got there. For funsies, I turned into a wolf and talked to one of them, who told me to "do something with us!" and talk to the Boss Chicken or whatever his name is. Turns out there's a game to find 20 cats in and around the village, kinda like the shootout from before with the same music. I gave it a shot and found 15 of them, but then there were some I couldn't get to, so I gave up and found Impaz.

Cool. Let's skip to the good part.

Missing letters, eh? I suppose I get to be the one who figures out the mystery. Why am I always the one who has to do everything around here? Well...I am the Hero...after all...but still.

Someone, I forget who, told me to talk to Shad, one of the guys from the resistance. He was inspecting a statue in Renado's basement, so I warped back to Kakariko Village again, had a chat with him, and showed him the book.

He was amazed by the book, and found a phrase he thought might be useful. But when he read it out loud to the statue right in front of us, nothing happened...right then.

So he wandered off to another room to pout after marking the locations of a bunch of other statues on my map. But as soon as he left...

Yay, the Dominion Rod isn't useless anymore!

Well, wasn't that convenient. Okay, well, the Dominion Rod still doesn't work on this particular owl statue, so we'll have to go look at the other owl statues and see what they do.

So I warped to the closest owl statue, which happened to be on the Bridge of Eldin. Basically I just had to use the Dominion Rod to move the statue out of the way, and then look at the emblem on the ground where the statue had been standing.

In case you can't read that, it says, "You found one Sky character! A missing part of the word in the ancient Sky Book has been restored." Sometimes I can't keep the photos from looking overexposed, so...yeah. Anyway, I had to rinse and repeat to get all of the book's missing characters (from the two statues in Hyrule Field, one near Lake Hylia, and one in Faron Woods) before I could complete the missing word.

This was a fun one. I had to move the statue off the pedestal it was sitting on and then move it so I could jump on it to get to said pedestal. There was another pedestal nearby with a chest on it (you can kind of see it in the picture) that turned out to have an orange rupee in it (100 rupees!) but it wouldn't fit in my wallet, so I had to put it back. Lame.

After I was done collecting the missing letters, I went to talk to Shad again, and he used the special word on the statue. His incantations sounded like he was having a seizure or something. But I digress. This time...the word did something!

Shad, of course, was still clueless as to what to do with the statue, so after he wandered off to pout again, I used the Dominion Rod to move it out of the way. In the room behind the statue, we found...this!

Shad, of course, was dumbfounded.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a cannon. Now get out of here so I can use Midna's super-strength to warp it to Lake Hylia. I mean, that's the only place I can think of to send it. There's a guy there with a cannon who might be able to fix this one. Go on, scram!

Hey, we're here. Well, let's go talk to Fyer.

Look, dude, I gotta tell you, that shirt really isn't doing anything for you. And you're giving me crap for apparently building my own cannon? Go look in a mirror sometime, you chump.

Well, he agreed to fix the cannon, but...

I don't know, guy. Maybe if you promise to buy a new shirt with your ill-gotten proceeds.

I wish I could have gotten a video of this, but after Fyer assured me he would "only take a second" the game went into a sped-up cutscene showing him working on the cannon for, like, two days. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. But once he was was flying time! I used the Clawshot to get into the back of the cannon, and away we went!


After a dizzying fall, I landed in water. Hey, look, Ooccaa stowed away with us.

She offered to give me a tour, but before I could take her up on it, a huge dragon flew by overhead. Uh, I'm pretty sure that's not part of the tour!

Let me guess. Something went horribly wrong here and I have to fix it.

I was right. Something went horribly wrong here and now I have to fix it. I'm so thrilled at being the kingdom's gofer!

Well, this is where I end things for today. Next time: City in the Sky!


Styve said...

Huzzah for more sniping!! I used the Hawkeye I got from Malo Mart (where I shop, because I'm smart), and it was (almost too) easy. The western shoot-out music was a nice touch, though, too.

I made the mistake of talking to the cuckoo and restarting the whole battle again, but luckily I was only like 5 baddies in.

You know, I'd never conciously noted that there are no guns in Zelda... now that you mention it, this seems almost odd considering how 90% of video games probably have some kind of gun involved at some point. Hmm. Interesting. I don't think the Master Glock would work as well, though.

Between IMPAz lady and the armoGOHMA spider boss, they didn't stray too far out of the box here. I can't remember, is Twilight Princess supposed to be a prequel or sequel to Ocarina?? I know Skyward is supposed to be a prequel to one of them... Oh, Zelda timeline, so full of paradoxes and confusion.

Is it cruel of me to note that the bad guys could have probably just busted down the lady's door or broken through a window? Mindless minion villains.

Is it still a love triangle if one of the people has inexplicably disappeared? Alien Link may have to settle, methinks.

Play the kitty game!! It's so cute!! And you owe it to that cat you ran over to appease its clan.

What in the BLAZES? A book of sky writing? How did Shad not know any of this?? Blazes! Owl statues scattered strategically around the land? Blazes! A canon! Wait, a canon? WTF.

Next on What Not to Wear: Hyrule Edition, a fantastication canon operator discovers a proper fit applies to more than just his upper torso/man boobs. A new make-up routine is also in the works!

I can't remember: do things go wrong wherever Link goes or does Link go wherever things go wrong? Found out next as you tour the City in the Sky (again with the creative naming...)

adejaan said...

The Hawkeye is a crutch, so I've never bothered to buy it. :P As far as I know, TP takes place sometime after the adult timeline from Ocarina of Time.